I slept as you stumbled in the dark,
searching for me,
and eventually settled for what was available.
I've never felt so unwanted,
so much like a consolation prize.
Forgetfullness was part of this,
that much is recognized,
but I never thought desperation would push you this far.
Now I turn to indulge in cavernous places,
where fear and insecurity flee to suckle and grow.
What was it in her face,
in her smile,
or was it the steady urging that licquor seems to inspire?
I don't see the charm inside of her,
forced only to the surface by a pair of rough hands,
and empty promises.
If fulfillment was what you were looking for part of me hopes you find it.
The other part wishes that emptiness will forever hold you,
like the icy grip of Autumn days.
A contest entry
- Darken Us Up with Your Comedic Genius and Romantic Attitude by So Strange.
1000 points, ended September 7, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hmm... I enjoyed this piece because it was well described nature/love. I think that you did a good job on this poem, and I think the flow was kind of shaky, though, because some of the lines seemed to long. But then again, mine sometimes is, but I think it tells a better story when you don't be so harsh on the flow and just pay attention to the story.
Good luck in my contest! -
great. i think this is very good. different. and i think i would love to read more. good luck in the contest.
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'the darkest hour is just before the dawn'
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