She’s there amid a million souls
Caught in deviant ocean’s ghouls
Covering her ears with delicate palms,
Trying to break off sea-witch’s charms
Oh! How far can thoughts astray?
From endless love to black betray!
Why! Ocean, cant you sooth the fern?
Of hearsays and of bruits that burn!
Tearing across through salty lanes,
She croons of love and angelic rains
Oh! Prince, she hails and weeps and howls,
Amid the waves that splash and growl
Engraved on shells of gray distrust,
Old curses dance on songs of lust
Beliefs dissolve in ocean’s green
Where drones a lovely mermaid teen!
June 20, 2007
Author notes
Of hearsays and bruits… on love!
Covetous (Part I)
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3033540
In a list
A contest entry
- Most sappy love poems by ThnxsForTheMmrs-x-.
425 points, ended June 21, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Lyrical and highly imagistic, with a kind of rhythm in the rhymes/slant rhymes that propels the reader without its becoming too obvious. Enjoyable to read and to visualize. (Some spelling and punctuation problems, though, that you might with to re-consider)

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thanks for the comment.
-Neha
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Wonderful expression again...
"Tearing across through salty lanes,
She croons of love and angelic rains
Oh! Prince, she hails and weeps and howls,
Amid the waves that splash and growl"
this is the most appealing part of the note.
Keep your good work up.
Regards




