Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

A Beam of Light

current image

 

As intuition
sweetens, sweeps senses, doors open
onto fruition.

Bursting bright, baring
intimate enlightenment
links souls insight sharing.

Light weaving laughter
assuages inhibitions -
superfluous hereafter.

Sounds of soft music
reflect starry skies' surprise,
bring belonging magic.

Ecstasy appears
to overwhelm misfortune,
love banishing fears.

Eternally, bliss
personnified, naught denied : -
Song of Songs is this.

Communication quite
envelops and sustains bridge
building shared delight.

Listening space
endows lasting trust to end
individual race.

Tender light beam bright
translates now to forever  
extending insight.

Shared listening space
bears witness to lasting trust
ends ambition’s [t]race.

Author notes

Pic perspectives :

Coeur de Joie or Mouse neural culture x 63 ? !

http://www.nikonsmallworld.com/gallery.php?grouping=year&year=1994&imagepos=14

In a list

Courtesy welcome and extended

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 19 of 19
  • beinbienasante silver member
    September 3
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    As intuition
    sweetens, sweeps senses, doors open
    onto fruition.

    Bursting bright, baring
    intimate enlightenment
    links souls insight sharing.

    guess I'm not the only one to get some naughty thoughts of that pic?

  • I don't like anything this bright.
    I pray that you find balance in your life.
    Blessed Beezey


  • Kelly2h
    June 7

    Edit | Reply

    i liked it

    ..
    Sounds of soft music
    reflect starry skies' surprise,
    bring belonging magic.

    Ecstasy appears
    to overwhelm misfortune,
    love banishing fears.

    Eternally, bliss
    personnified, naught denied : -
    Song of Songs is this.

  • myusikah
    June 1
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I really liked that. I wasn't aware of the rhyming scheme until the fifth or sixth stanza.
    But...what does "Fruition" mean?? I cant exactly tell by the context.
    Anyways, it was a really great read! I liked the first to last stanza the best.
    --> pia♪♫
  • This is great! I love each and every line it is so amazing and I wish that I could write something so sweet and pure. I haven't been able to write a Haiku. I wish I could and make it so breathless and easy flowing. I will master it one day, but until then. Thank you for sharing this with me it is amazing.
    Have a great day. God Bless.
    ~Only1love4ever
    • I don't like anything this bright.
      I pray that you find balance in your life.
      Blessed Beezey
  • Excellent

    A very fine write, indeed. Imagery, rthym and rhyme are just fine. I like it just as it is. Thanks for sharing this one.
  • Tight and competent - nicely done Sir...

  • Communication quite
    envelops and sustains bridge
    building shared delight.

    Listening space
    endows lasting trust to end
    individual race.

    I particularly liked the thought behind these two haiku and the natural connection bridged between them.


  • XXXDark--AngelXXX
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a great peice you have written here. I Love it. You speak the truth of what love brings and, I like it. Love is a wonderful thing to have full of emotions that two people share. This is a great poem. Keep Writing.


  • DeepDarkDesire
    July 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Well written

    Haiku is only difficult if you cannot reach within yourself. This poem shows you can reach within and pull from you, more than just a style of poem, but a deeper meaning and a hidden depth to each word. This poem is fantastic, it shows you as a talent.

    . Rewarded 6


  • Room without doors silver member
    June 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding

    Haiku is a difficult form to write and this poem shows your ability to create deft imagery and link ideas very quickly. I especially liked the opening haiku and you impress me with the flow of this sequence. Very impressive.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Lamia
    June 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ooh I love this poem. Love and being in it is the greatest feeling in the world. Wish there was more of it. I heard this poem as a song which may have lent itself nicely to the contest in which it was entered.
    Thank you for commenting on my poem by the way. I didn't know that title was from another author. It just fit so nicely into Blackadder I didn't question it haha


  • klassy lassy
    June 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    You describe how the magic of being in love colors perceptions so well. It seems to be human nature to see what we wish when it comes to being in love, to pin our happiness on so many expectations and superfluous hereafters. Then life happens, and love takes on new meaning.


  • ThnxsForTheMmrs-x-
    June 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    "Light weaving laughter
    assuages inhibitions -
    superfluous hereafter.

    Sounds of soft music
    reflect starry skies' surprise,
    bring belonging magic.

    Ecstasy appears
    to overwhelm misfortune,
    love banishing fears. "


    very deep over powering and senscational.

    Kaydee


  • ApostleOfDeath
    June 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful ending. I loved the way you rhyme, a-b-a style, manages to really catch the eye and keeps the attention of readers. I found the last 2 verses very nicely arranged, only thing I'd likely advise you is to focus on the very emotion in depth and be less descriptive about it, but that's only my point of view, don't take it too seriously. This write is good, continue sharing your talent with us.

1 - 19 of 19