Of coffee cups and cigarettes
A leather cowboy hat laying
Beside a Shakespeare statuette
A future of loneliness
She painted long ago
The canvas ripped and shredded
Lies beneath her toes
A future filled with love
Was what he showed to her
So many months ago
Beneath a lonely fir
He held her and he kissed her
Inside the lonely woods
Painting her a sunrise
And forget, she never could
The sunset he showed her
Of the life she had before
Of loneliness and existance
Walled inside her locked up door
He brought her to the sunrise
Of her life now lived in joy
Now she laughs and lives
Her life is a brand new toy
Once he painted her a sunset
But she turned it to a dawning
And now she lives and sings
For life is for the living
And the living must do more than live
This truth was hard to learn
For living is more than just existing
This truth she has discerned
Author notes
Inspired by Poetic Whisperer's "I'll Paint My Own Sunrise"
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3078100
I have the tendency to write about myself in the third-person when I write poems about change in my views of life, life in general, and sometimes love, mainly because I feel that I can't be the only one to feel as I do on such subjects, that it applies to many, but also it flows better sometimes.
In a list
A contest entry
- Prewrites that dont suck. by parachute fog.
400 points, ended October 20, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Liked that last verse -very true indeed - living is more than just existing. Liked the flow and the rhythm, rhyme in these lines - easy to read and understand what's being said in these lines. Sunrises are beautiful and should be experienced with someone.
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Walled inside her locked up door
this line seemed a little bit out of place, the poem has a very good flow and it would be a pity for one line to break it.
I thought the poem got better as it went on, especially the last few stanzas, the ending was great, and conveyed a very wise message, thanks for the read. -
Beautiful, The warmth radiates from your words and lets the reader be a part of this lovely piece. Excelent...mal


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Wow. So emotional. I love it.


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muse of life
Morning's can do that, bring realization of life to the fore, of what we have and what we are...lovely tale of love and moving on
little note..6 th stanza. 1st line word" her"

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Mmmm... So can a lack of sleep, and spending the night doing last-minut classwork over coffee and cigarettes. Gotta love those mornings. That line's been corrected. Thanks!
Melui
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