Contest Entry Final Plead & I am finally free...

Final Plead
on April 24, 2006.  © All rights reserved (1st poem)



She's beautiful I tell you,

nothing else so pure

her laughter, her smile, always felt so secure.

I can't remember the last time she cried, except for the night,

before she had died.

Crying for anyone to take away her pain

felt helpless, unsure, caressing her mane

"I will try, try and do as I can,

but you have to to be strong"

and that was the plan.

Hours went by but they seemed like days

just sitting there watching her

I prayed and I prayed

For someone to cease her from this horrible state

no reason to stay here, its getting so late.

Made peace with her I promised,

  to do all that was asked

words never forgotten and a hell of a task.

Whispered in her ears I love you, I'll miss you so much

slowly packing her bags with each gentle touch.

Hugging and smelling her clothes more and more

her scent was there, I've always adored 

As I walked and got closer to the side of her bed

with my coat and my scarf on, this to be said:

"Mom, I am going now, I am afraid no more

Please I beg you to walk heavens floor.

Your mother is calling, meet her again,

and please watch over us.... please.... Amen

I say go, go and be free as can be

My mother, my friend, my final plead.





I Am Finally Free.
on June 18.  © All rights reserved( 2nd poem)


Sept 2005, I kneel with excruciating pain.
Where is it coming from?  I can't seem to understand.
  Why am I feeling this way? Why wont it go away?
  My head banging so hard, the usual migraine I suppose.
    Days go by so fast. Remembering a few.
    I can't lift my head off the pillow.
      I am scared. God please help me.
Nov 2005, finally rushing into a taxi falling down on the street.
Trying to go as fast as I can, only moving an inch a minute.
  Falling down again. Driver helps me, meter is running.
  Doors open, a helpful place I think.
    Intravenously some saline to keep me flowing.
    Diagnosis...dehydration. So they thought.
      Head still banging. Screaming for meds. At ease for now.
      Huge enormous machines takes pictures of my head.
        Louder than anything.
        I am scared. God please help me.
Dec 2005, several masses on the brain.
Too much of my surprise, it is not as I would think.
  Many more scans all over my body. It has spread. Why? Why me?
  So many answers I have tried to find. No one could tell me how.
    This could happen so fast probably had it for years.
    Diagnosis... Stage 4.  Is there a cure? No, but a probability.
      To sustain my life maybe a few months at that.
      I am scared. God, please help me.
Jan 2006, some radiation on my brain, five days a week.
I am getting tired losing weight. It's so awful.
  Days getting longer don't remember too much.
  I can't help to seek why God has chosen me.
    Shingles, pneumonia what else can go wrong?
    Must get better, before Chemotherapy takes place.
      My family, I thank, for all the help they gave.
      The cooking, the cleaning, the grocery shopping.
        Diagnosis.... getting worse. I can feel it.
        Still very tired. I can't get out of bed.
          This terrible pain will not go away.
          No pill in the world I could take.
            I am scared God, please help  me,
February 2006, 79 days after final diagnosis. I scream.
"I cant take this no more".
  I pray and I pray so to speak.
  February 8th to be exact.
    I am finally free.
    I live with no more diseases or pain.
      Some may not understand.
      Why God wants me for his own.
        I knew this was his plan.
March, April,May, June, July etc.
I am gone but never forgotten.
  Still watching the ones I love grow.
  They pray to me, hoping for answers, maybe a touch.
    I am always there although they cannot hear or see me.
    Leave a presence, somehow they will think, I was there.
      Eases their mind, maybe a little.
      They visit where I was buried,
        not realizing its just a body not my soul.
January-February 8th 2007
A whole year, never ceases to be reminded that I am still loved.
  Prayers keep coming, and thoughts still beckon me.
  I am here. Please believe me.
    You cannot see or hear me still,
    But my soul surrounds you with love everyday,
      I whisper I love you and hug you so tight
      I call to you and say until we meet again loved one, until we meet again.
           
                              In Loving Memory
                                Helen Winje
                        July 1, 1949 - February 8,2006