Well, here I am
hanging by my wrists
I did nothing wrong
Everyone has to piss
I maybe was drunk
And it was in the open
These nails sort of hurt
I hope nothing's broken
These nails didn't look clean
Hope I don't get an infection
How long am I supposed to hang here anyway?
Here comes a guard on inspection.
What's the spear for?
Hey look, a bird
What's he here for?
I have to piss again
They told me I might be here a while
At least I'm outside
Could be worse...
A contest entry
- Controversy by I swashbuckler OK.
470 points, ended July 22, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Though you say this is meant to be about punishment, and not Christianity, you had to have known that at least a few viewers would be offended. So, for this wonderfully controversal entry, I've decided to applaud...plus, contrary to others, I like the short lines, it gives it a great flow; it gives it a beat.=D
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This has potential but by your own admission down below you were not ridiculing Christianity and thus are not likely to cause much of a stir! I shall applaud it anyway.
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Very interesting. I note, however, that after line 12 you abandon your rhyme scheme. You might consider making the first 12 lines a seperate stanza.
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My 2 cents (as they say)
Well well well - I peed my pants reading this - excellent! I'm sure Edna will love it
Well done
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I would certainly give you more than 2 cents for that. Thanks for the comment and not threatening me with God being angry at a satire on crucifixion.
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Not entertaining, disgusting. No matter what beliefs you hold yourself, you have no right to ridicule others' religions in this way. Distasteful and disgusting. Oh yeah, the flow sucks too.
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Star Wars the Bible teaches us to kill non-believers and those who worship other gods. I think I'd rather be ridiculed.
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Well, I sure as hell hope you realize that crucifixion wasn't a punishment reserved for jesus. In fact, the repentant sinner and the unrepentant one at the time of Jesus' crucifixion were both on crosses. It was a standard punishment in roman times. Therefore, how am I making fun of religion? I'm merely commenting on a form of punishment asshole...
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Hey no-one said you had to read it and if you check it is completely appropriate for the contest it is entered in! And hey don't take things so seriously!
Lighten up
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Very entertaining.
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I would not want to be in your shoes when Judgement Day comes and the Lord looks down on you from his Mighty throne in the Sky and says, "You mocked my Son and now I shall smash you to atoms, you ugly scumbag".
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Do you really think God would call me an ugly scumbag? That's a little too old testament for these days I think
I appreciate you reading my poetry at least. I feel sorry your short-sightedness regarding the fact that this punishment was not for Jesus alone. As a pastor I would think that you would know that it was a common Roman punishment. Please, before you continue to preach, research a little history... -
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Please read this and you will understand... http://allpoetry.com/poem/2695824
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Haha, I'm sorry for looking at you from a completely wrong perspective. I was operating under the assumption you were an asshole like Star Wars Fanatic up there lol.
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y6u mustn't take my friend Pastor Grovell too seriously. Try some of poems and I think you may find him amusing.
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This is very funny and is in the true spirit of the happy crucifixee sect, originally established by St Eric the Idle aka Brian. I think I recognise your writing......
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The contest got cancelled! That sucks... Well, thanks for trying at least...
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This was different and entertaining lol
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