What has happened to your eyes?
The bright blue has dimmed
Into a melancholy gray
They serve as barriers
To guard me from
Your thoughts, your dreams
Places I am not allowed
To trespass any longer.
What has happened to your lips?
The smile that lingered on the corners
Is replaced with a snarl of disgust
These lips only spit
Venomous and stinging words
That pierce my insides.
What has happened to your hands?
Once they longingly wandered my body
But are now cold and limp
They push me away
Not willing me to get any closer
Than I already have.
I know, it's because
I let someone else's
Eyes tempt me
Lips seduce me
Hands take me
I will leave
So you will no longer
Have to see, speak, touch
The person who has done this to you.
Author notes
This comes from the perspective of the unfaithful one and shows how the affair slowly deteriorated the relationship
A contest entry
- Anything goes! by Wonderwhenitllrain.
300 points, ended June 20, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - let me know... by burning alive.
550 points, ended July 25, 2007, 42 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken Hearted and Lost loves by Lillian Rose.
600 points, ended July 25, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Go For The Win!! by Nephalaneous lover.
340 points, ended August 10, 2007, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by Madison Mary.
1000 points, ended August 2, 2007, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken Love/Found Love by DeepinRage.
300 points, ended August 8, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - break my ♥ again, bby. by juliex-exotic shine.
350 points, ended August 19, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Losing all hope .. losing the one you love most by ForNever.x.
300 points, ended October 7, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All Thats Left Of Yesterday by Saree Wynter.
600 points, ended October 21, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Painful to read. Very well-written. So good it makes me hurt.
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I love the lack of punctuation, you've created enjambment and i like that. This poem just made me want to cry, whether or not it was because of my emotional state or the fact that its a brilliant poem .. it made me cry lol Thanks for entering :F
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Very powerful...tell me is this one of your experiences or is it just a great though...I like your poem and it makes me wonder....
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No, it was not a personal experience of mine, I just thought of it one day- I actually have been in the position of the peron that the narrator is speaking to (the person who the poem is directed towards) though so that may have shown some inspiration. Thank you for the compliments too!!
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Good write, very interesting. Alot of though and emotion. Good luck in the contest.
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I love this! Your rock man!
-Angel-
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This is a really good poem and a really nice touch. I like the flow of the poem and the feelings that come to me while reading this, of regreat and hurt. Thank you for entering my contest and best of luck to you!
Casey -
wow man. I really like this. Awesome! Yeah, I just try to stay away from relationships all together man... it only ends in heartbreak. Good luck in the contest.
-Angel- -
ach, that sucks! (the situation, not the poem)
We all live with so many regrets, trying to break free...
This is a really good poem.
Great job and thanks for entering
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