It flows in fleeting
victual vanity's silvery sheen,
vacillating between putrefaction
and preponderance,
glazing the figment rivulets
swirling in the mind.
Imbibing always erupts
in a kaleidoscope epiphany
through resounds in murmurs, laments and hymns,
creating a cacophony of inner disharmony.
Still, one sips upon the mercurial mix
of sagacious sangria,
supping its richness
as well as repugnance.
For we know the hours
shall always pass
between the valleys sojourned
upon this pilgrimage of tears.
Allowing the memory's coffers
to fill with shimmering coins of reflection
tinkling in the dulcet rhythmic sway,
reminding how each refreshment's taste
from the fount of poignant and profound potions
will always change on another dip
within the swells of life's fluid voice.
Letting the moment's juices serve their message
recalling when it wasn't so bittersweet, nor pungent,
when the heart is parched
for the droplets of smiles and breathless majesty,
so calmly embraced in the afterglow of consumption,
while the words haunt in transitory promise,
"just a matter of time."
Author notes
Soundtrack - from the movie, Eddie and the Cruisers I I,
Song - Just a matter of time
Lyrics that inspired -
There was a time
you had no need for rhythm or rhyme...
just a matter of time...
We wake one day
some how our dreams faded away...
just a matter of time....
The world seemed to violet so free
just wrap yourself up in a dream...
just a matter of time...
A contest entry
- Soundtrack Inspiration by lie.
750 points, ended July 2, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I adore the rhythmic feel you opened up the piece with; you grab the reader with a wonderful assonance, and keep them enthralled with your brilliant use of language.
The metaphor in here is so tightly wound, and yet you utilize such wonderful images that the reader forgets about everything else and just concentrates on the depths of your words. To me, it seems like each stanza could hold it's own message or theme, while when all the verses are put together it's epic in the topic presented.
The way you accompanied water and fountains with memories and concepts of the mind is flawless. The flux and difference between happy memories, and the destructive ones, the combination of that with incorporating everything that wishing fountain has is brilliant.
The last verse brings everything together; it spoke the most to me. In my opinion, it's the hope that eventually something will change for the better, and one day people won't have to live in the past, for the present will fulfill their wish of happiness.
You have a lot of ideas in here that are my favorite: paradoxes between happiness and sadness, little things meaning the most, hope that things will change. Plus, the well thought out metaphor of water is gorgeous.
Lovely in every way.
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Unfair! Now the rule is you can't write a more poetic comment or review on a poem that is better than the poem itself. My goodness, I think from now on I'm just going to leave my poem blank and copy in your comments. You are so gifted at such things. Thank you so much.
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Your rich vocabulary shines here, it's refreshing to see such word choices but without going too over the top on wordiness
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Thank you for the wonderful comment. There aren't a lot of contest that I feel comfortable expanding the word usage, but I felt I could give it a shot in this one.
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where have i put my dictionary???
'Allowing the memory's coffers
to fill with shimmering coins of reflection
tinkling in the dulcet rhythmic sway,
reminding how each refreshment's taste
from the fount of poignant and profound potions
will always change on another dip
within the swells of life's fluid voice.'
this was a great write.
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This is one of the few contests where the judge actually understands when you use other than regular words. Thanks for the great comment.
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