you’re dreams unfold
like a line of paper dolls
one more drink
one more puff
that is it then I’ll be done
look around what do you see?
You no longer see me
I’m nothing but a memory
That wine is you’re poison
That cigarette is your chosen death
Will you miss me
As you fade into the blackened hope
Disappear into the lost dreams
Of so many before you?
As the paper dolls are dipped into the
black ocean
cruel fate rips them apart from their
friends
is that what is happening to us my lost
friend?
Were we just dipped into the ocean never
To be seen again?
That wine is you’re poison
That cigarette is you’re chosen death
Will you miss me
As you fade into the blackened hope
Disappear into the lost dreams
Of so many before you?
Ashes to ashes
dust to dust
push me away again
and I tell you my friend
I’ll be gone
Gone to let you drink
Gone to let you pull in
that last puff
but I warn you
I will also be gone from saving you
So say good bye as we drift apart
Author notes
this is what i wrot in english class my friens wonted to make it into a song... i has bin sitting on my desk for the past month i didnt thingk it was good enof to post but i did eny ways it has alot to do with my friend. she was into drugs and drinking and i was trying to her to stop and she was stoping then when we got to high school she stoped hanging out with me. i miss her
if enyone can tell me how i can make my poems better that wold be geat
A contest entry
- Give your prewrites a place to belong by Starz of Heaven.
550 points, ended July 24, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poems for my wall by Lauren Noir.
650 points, ended August 31, 2007, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire me by Kristin Melissa.
1050 points, ended July 2, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I'm sorry I cant tell you how to get your friend back, I wish I could! Koodles and good luck in the contest.
Blessed be
Mystic
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i sadly haven talked to her in over 1 year now
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i really enjoyed it.
its sad when freinds are lost because its unimaginable how fast some people change that you cant believe they really have changed.
its very hard to describe freinship loss but you described it all so well =)
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thanks. i dont normily like my own poems but i realy like this one. thanks i love to get fead back on mu poems
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I actually really liked this
you embraced the feeling of your freind and her problem
you added a lot into it, and the song worked really well
I liked the paper dolls idea, that was clever
I enjoyed reading this, though it was painful, it was good poetry
well done, there was a few grammar errors, and some poetic devices were a bit cliche, but on the whole a unique and fantastic write
well done
good lucl
and thanks for entering! -
This is a very nice write. Thank you for your entry and goodluck to you xxxx
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thanks ya i can't spell to save my life.. sorry
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hmmmm?
well, you wanted to know how to make your poems better? Possibly... okay, this has nothing to do with the lines of the poem... but grammatical errors friend! other than that,I like your poem, it speaks from somewhere in you that wants a change, and in this case, your friend. ^_^
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