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magnolia

 

 

 

 

beside the flaked white paint
of a low stone wall

sweetbay magnolias undress
themselves slowly
in new morning sun

dew slides from petals
like water over wax

the quiet harbor repeats
passing clouds
off its steel-blue face

 

 

at the end of the dock
sandhill cranes
stand
on one leg

boats sit motionless
in their moorings

 

 

daylight holds me
in its silence

 
the night

now far away










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Comments

1 - 30 of 30

  • Emerald13
    April 16
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful ... (tanka like ... hehe .. you would flame the form if you ever considered it) ...

  • ardentMarch gold member
    April 9

    Edit | Reply
    I love this one...I love the mood you create in this poem....

    "sweetbay magnolias undress
    themselves slowly
    in new morning sun"


    so lovely, Al....such a day full of promise....what a beautiful morning felt here by the reader (even though it is at night..lol) & your imagery is very sharp


    love this


  • Swan song gold member
    October 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I read a lot of poetry. Many times I read a poem once
    Sometimes I read them twice and give a kind word.
    I have read your poem five times and was rewarded every time with your pure and stunning talent sir!

  • marrow
    July 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    you never lose your greatness.
    it'll be here, no matter how long i am away for. good to know.-- justin

  • rebeka
    July 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    thick with beauty and scent, takes me to a place in my mind that is calm, there is no stress in this place, only the quiet weight of acceptance of finding wisdom in being still for a while.

  • belly
    July 12, 2007

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    This makes me wish I had the talent to write about nature. Every line is striking and only adds to the ulitimate reaction the poem evokes. I'm honored you like my writing, because this is stunning.


  • Grunts Girl
    July 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    and if she wispered the roosting blue heron with feathers the hue of beach mud would squeek once, elongate its wing tips wide and gracefully take flight to cross the bay at a soaring angle to perch in the dead top of a far off tree....
    ...
    this reminded me also of a peeping tom watching a familiar woman...
    Just a place in my head that sometimes makes no sense... forgive me for that

    The end... I was stuck there... partially because I wanted to stay there and yet.. excited about the evening and what it would bring.

  • Whoochi gold member
    July 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know how to say this so, I just will....every piece of yours feel as though I have been seduced...I dont care if its about light or magnolias or whatever, I just feel exhumed, seduced and exhausted with a nice afterglow after reading your words...if you can explain that to me...well..then maybe i would not need a cigarette after each of your poems.....


  • naked roots
    June 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The imagery of undressed magnolias Is unique and beautiful...I think I will let that roll around in my mind for a bit.
    Excellent poem, all the way through.


  • Zayra
    June 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I have always loved those magnolias.

  • dandelioness
    June 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    watercolor poetry
    loverly aj

  • mantis180
    June 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Utter magnificence


  • monimac
    June 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    perfection.


  • ellipsist
    June 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    lovely imagery and kind

    of a sweet simplistic feel to this piece... very peaceful and it conveys a feeling of light... you've painted quite a lovely scene for the reader to find themselves in!


  • Trellis
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ah! At last! An "Al" poem! I pass by your page everyday looking - hoping. And then this evening .... Yes!!!!

    I adore the way you gave humanistic qualities to the magnolias. Your description of the harbor is right on. And the cranes, which are indigenous to a specific part of the country, the part where I now live, give this poem an identity.

    As a sailor, I know about the motionless moorings - not a good thing really. But it's a perfect entre to the powerful, yet graceful, close.

    This gave me goosebumps because you prodded me to create my own scenario. Each reader can make this fly in his/her own direction. In my opinion, that is superb writing. That is a gift to be able to do that for people.

    You are an artist - because you know how to stimulate art within others.

    I am so happy you finally left another gift for us.



    Cris


  • April Renee
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    as always, with the beautiful imagery. you make your poems almost tangible. very nice job with writing this. enjoyed the read.

    blu


  • Cat gold member
    June 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    there is such peace to this piece...


  • truembrace
    June 19, 2007

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    I think the most important line in this poem for me is with: "daylight holds me in its silence" - which sets us up perfectly for the ending where the last line brings so many images - has us wondering what is implied by night here. In reading this a few times - on the third I had three stories unfold in my mind as to the meaning -- all of them equally strong.

    to have so many wonderful possibilities through such imagery - simply a wonderful poem.


  • misselaineous gold member
    June 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    ahhhh
    lovely


  • NurseChilly gold member
    June 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    that works.. lololol

    clever...

  • Cat gold member
    June 19, 2007

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    this is absolutely breathtaking- the quiet can be felt all the way from new york to michigan-

    you are an amazing poet al.. amazing

    seems someone should wake the sleeping giant...

    m


  • Nicolette gold member
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A sweetly scented scene of serenity...

    Lovely, lovely poetry, Al..and the last line wraps it up wonderfully. Love your flower poetry

    ~ Nicolette


  • NurseChilly gold member
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the night is very far... and the moon rises later... and when it's fat and glowing..

    then those hours creep by......

    this has a heady scent Al... just like magnolias in June

    nicely done

    G.x


  • Redstormy gold member
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I love this

    The only way this could be better is if I could hear you reading it. Sounds like Solace. I love the way you describe the dew on the petals. sigh


  • Candy6
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    very beautiful

    very beautiful poem and well written. I like the way this poem looks. I like reading the flower poems.


  • Rowan gold member
    June 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Captivating..


  • katfair
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    gorgeous momentary

    feels so familiar to me

    magnolias are a favorite
    like cream filled velvet boats

    and just walked our harbor the other day
    to blue heron posturing

    so here is to the summer's becoming
    and your silence shared in quiet words

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