From here on,
I come to confess,
The feelings spoken from the mouth of another
My opportunity is now,
This is my moment to say it all
And yet, I will say nothing at all
Maybe you have already noticed the small things,
My awkward indifferences to all that occurs around me
The shimmer of ecstasy in my eyes at the mention of your name
The way you can whisper sweet promises to me and to me only,
The way a single glance leaves me breathless…
Then there are those moments,
The way she looks at you with bad intentions,
The way you respond back, completely willing to accept
The way I can just suddenly be rewritten out of your story …
But what can I do; besides pretend that the tears I cry were never for you …
Still I will smile.
I will endure through the difficult road,
Overcome the obstacles they throw at me
Endure their bitter tormenting,
For you, baby, it is all worth it
Let me show you how much you are worth it
And let me show you that I am almost there.
A contest entry
- The Pain That Love Brings by Sesheta.
600 points, ended September 10, 2007, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For All Poets Without Silver and Gold Trophies! by reckless abandon.
330 points, ended July 12, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
First Try. Please tell me what you think!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I like this, it's written very well in a way that people can connect to feeling the same way. Well done and thanks for entering!
-KP] -
this is my personal favourite y'know
made me feel slightly jealous in a competitive way lol, but its healthy, honestly though great job
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Hehehe, no need to be jealous. I wouldn't have even considered expressing myself in this way if you weren't such a talented guy! ^_^ Thanks!!
xxx
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This was very well done, until the last stanza. It seems that it is a capitulation to the inevitable, as if the narrator had given up and given in. Plus you don't want to boost his ego. He seems to have enough of that. You need to let him know how worthwhile YOU are. I would like to see some fight registered there. I also liked the format of the first three stanzas.
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Well to be honest, I wrote this on a whim and I've never really been satisfied with the ending myself. At the moment, I haven't got any ideas on how to end it ... =/
Anyway, thank you for your comment. You really seem to know what you're talking about so I will take this to heart!
xxx
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Tres bein
It's really good
thoughts onto a piece of paper
very expressive -
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Thank you lovely! I'm glad that you like it
xxx
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Great!
I loved it ! I think you speak from your heart and thats what good poetry is all about !
Great job!
~Lisa~
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Thank you, I'm glad that my point has been made!
xxx
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