I glance at heaven’s light as it shines from the pane
As I walk from the heaven of my soul’s magnificence
The feeling of memories drifts upon my feet
Why can't we see love then love's beauty
To know that my love was more beautiful
My love, tell me you’re following me behind?
I dread to turn to the radiance of surprise
I wish to confine the wondrous love I gave to you
Like a camera can not detain the brightness
Or like a palm can not grasp one ashen rain
Seems like leaves upon a tree, I find them countless
Only the wind can number each leaf that softly falls
Only my true love can bring me true sorrow
And these feelings are an ache to my soul
Yet what to do when all love has gone astray
I am like an angel sent from heaven’s door
So your love have sent my innocent soul away
These stretch swans of white floats off my sides
Seems like the wind refuses to take me within
So much like your beautiful trust and comfort
That took me in like a child into a home
Here I walk away not knowing where I’m going
I know your sweet light shines from the pane
Watching me as I walk, "watch your only love go!"
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I love it but its kinda sad:(
I love it! -
This is a very good write indeed. THis had pretty fair flow throughout the whole piece. Thank you for entering. I wish you the best of luck in my contest.
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A wonderful write! I particularly love the lines: 'Only the wind can number each leaf that softly falls, Only my true love can bring me true sorrow'. Beautifully composed and wonderfully phrased, Thank You for sharing this with us
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The book of Salomon is a beautiful book. This is a marvelous write you have here my Lady. Your thoughts rise from mountain top and shine upon the valley. Your excellency is beyond the understand of my narrow mind. You give me something to ponder and wonder about. Keep up the most beautiful hon and thank you for sharing
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Hmmm... If you've ever read the book Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs depending on which version you have) in the bible, this reminds me a lot of it. The writing style, narration, and even some of the imagery is very similar to it, which is a compliment to you. There is only one thing I didn't get, the line "I dread to turn and be shun by my disclosure" if you're using the word 'shun' as in to ignore, push away, etc. then I think it would be shunned. But just because I've never seen it used that way doesn't mean it can't be. Overall though, a good write, your use of emotion and narration was particularly good.
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