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The dance


She dances...

  ...Slowly turning with the beat

She turns...
 
  ...Noticing her audience

Has turned to dust...

[Sad songs rolling out of
Broken speakers, wrapping
The slow melodies around my
Distant state of mind]

Left alone...

  ...she is lost

Nothing left to do...
 
  ...so she self destructs

Author notes

Very personal if you dont get it, let me know, maybe i will enlighten you

heh

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Comments


  • ConvenientExcuses
    June 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like this one a lot! I like the structure of the poem, it's a little different.

    [Sad songs rolling out of
    Broken speakers, wrapping
    The slow melodies around my
    Distant state of mind]
    --this part is so descriptive. I really like it.

    I can feel the emotion and I think that's what makes a piece great! keep writing!

    [[Jessica]]


    • -no-vacancy
      June 19, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Glad you like it, and im glad you can feel the emotion, i wasnt so sure about this poem. The part that you have in your comment, i wrote that first, it just like came out. So i added something before it, and it didnt seem done, so i added some more after it, and i was ok with the image...but yeah its my favorite part too

      Thanks for the comments
      b.blair