Were they hidden with such care
only to be lost to you?
Were they wrapped with such a flare
only to get so flamed too?
You stole my heart from my soul
with no concern for me.
Deeply dug, immortal hole
was left when you went free.
Was cherishing them naive
and was it wrong to then fear?
Was it me who'd not believe
or was my mind thinking clear?
Here remains the tainted lust
you used as your potions.
Here I stay in heartache's dust
declassified emotions.
Author notes
~Whitemaiden
A contest entry
- The Random Rounds - Round 4 by Frodofan.
464 points, ended July 14, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Declassified Emotions by whitemaiden
Title - 8
Style - 8
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating -8
Originality -8
Reaction - 8
Rules - 10
Makes sense - 9
Enjoyable - 7
Total- 84
-
Declassified Emotions by whitemaiden
Title - 8
Style - 8
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating -7
Originality -7
Reaction - 7
Rules - 10
Makes sense - 9
Enjoyable - 7
total- 81 -
Enjoyed this write. It had simple and clever thought provoking mentions in it. Some of the rhyme was a little off in my opinion, but the most of it was creative and good. Good luck in the contest.
x Stef x -
Title - 9
Style - 7
Form - 7
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 7
Originality - 8
Reaction - 7
Rules - 10*
Makes sense - 9
Enjoyable - 6
Incorporated the certain something: Yes 10 points!
Total: 90
-
Good. The 4th line didn't flow as well I think. The rest is very good and I like how you incorporated the title into the ending. Worked very nicely.
I don't think it sucked.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
