Come walk this winding road with me,
along our route there’s much to see.
A little child is playing there,
feel the innocence in the air.
Smell the flowers along the way,
they help make it a better day.
Fluffy clouds are just floating by,
in this perfect baby blue sky.
Don’t look far to the right or left,
at this trick I have become quite deft.
For over there it’s not as good,
that is something that’s understood.
There’s a darkness that slinks around,
the depth of it is quite profound.
Inside of it you will see death,
and horrors that will steal your breath.
Poverty and hunger hover,
in the darkness like a lover.
The sorrow of reality,
is just what we don’t want to see.
Keep your eyes looking straight ahead,
ignore the tears that you hear shed.
All is okay if you look down,
and paste a smile across that frown.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Beautiful - just lovely!
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wonderful write. the rhythm and rhyme are great. imagery is really superb. this seems to have a couple different meanings depending which way you look at this. with a worldly view , straight ahead or a Christian view of helping others."The provoking thoughts that emulate from this write are so profound that one begins to grasp all the agony that is passed by with a fear of getting involved in other's problems. Knowing this is wrong and that we should try to lift spirits up and console we sink into our belly tracks as the guilt chills our veins." thus saith a wise man. many thank yous for sharing this. keep writing! God bless you always
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A brilliant penning from you, one must read closely the lines you pen in this one...I read it twice! I was not quite sure then went back and found you had a strong message in there for all of us and I hope many folks on here read it
Excellent work and always my pleasure to read ~Tia
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ha, wow, yeah I see what you really mean now. At first, I thought- wow, is she telling us to just ignore evil- but then I thought, nah, she's just warning us against getting caught up in it, so that we don't lose our own focus. Of course now I see you mean neither! Sometimes my Mom would say to me, you gotta smile even if you don't want to- that's the only way to get past the difficult stuff people try to throw at you when they try to trip you up(my interpreation of lines 13-16 first time I read it),and in doing so you will eventually get yourself to a higher place if you don't lose your focus. So I was kind of seeing your last two lines in that light. But now up on reading it again, I realize you are actually upset about the people who just are indifferent to evil- just so you know- I am not one of those - or I try not to be. I know that I was one of the people crying as a kid, trapped in evil that people just ignored. There are many more people like you describe in the world than there are people who take the time to understand and care, sad to say.
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Excellent
The truth is written in your poem..The words you wrote are so true..Your talent shines..Your poem is EXCELLENT!
Blessings,
Betty
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oh sweet poem very sweeet it has soo real issues goood lucks in da contest i know u'll do greatttttt
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Sorry
Forgot the clappy hands
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Sounds like a walk through any large city
I love the way you expressed yourself in this one.
See all the good and completely ignore the bad. Yea we don't want that. We miss some of the good things in life keeping the protective blinders on trying to keep from hurting ourselves. I loved you rhyme & your flow was great. Good job! And good luck in the contest. -
Desserts
Get away from the noisy crowd. Let your mind soar. Do not let yourself be enclose in loneliness. Things are made just to try one person stability. After this long road, in the end you'll be happy to see that it just part of life and this sad things make you even stronger to face this world. Stressed is just desserts spelled backwards.
Very inspirational poem.
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We sometimes need to see the bad though to realise all the good we have in our lives and that enables us to give to the not so lucky, this makes us richer than any material wealth could ever give. Love for humanity is a precious gift we have the ability to bestow. Beautiful write. Love, C
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Outstanding
So very well said in this write my friend!! Very creative and a fantastic message for all to hear. The provoking thoughts that emulate from this write are so profound that one begins to grasp all the agony that is passed by with a fear of getting involved in other's problems. Knowing this is wrong and that we should try to lift spirits up and console we sink into our belly tracks as the guilt chills our veins. Excellent poem and message my dear!! I love it, Don
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Beautifully written. Great job of showing how we like to look ahead and see where we are going, but don't want to look at the troubles of others. That is how it usually is.Keep your eyes looking straight ahead,
ignore the tears that you hear shed.
All is okay if you look down,
and paste a smile across that frown." Closes it perfectly!
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Wow, very magnificant really. I really enjoyed it, because of it's truth and the way you pointed out what most people do. Most people don't do it because their mean they do it to get by in life.
Very good...hope you win!
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I agree with duana. Great write!! Good luck in your contest.
A MURDEROUS LAMENT <\33 -
Hi. I really like the lesson in this. Being an example of aiming straight ahead, is being the light to the world we should be- and people will notice, and follow your example.
Your poem started out so beautifully that introducing all the evils into it was totally unexpected- but that is exactly what happens in life, and so is very fitting to the poem- the lesson at the end would not be taken in as strongly as needed to be without this jolt - so great job for setting an excellent tone.
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Excellent work , but... honestly, I did scroll down more than the write.. ie.. the flow in the poem is almost perfect but towards the end i felt as if you did end it but still may be it needs something more in name of message at the conclusion of it ...
hmm.. you can say , this is just me thinking aloud.. The first two paras are so very beautiful.. it is almost like you took me there , on that road, actually.. Such fine imagery!
Overall, a very enjoyble, positive and well written piece of art Good luck for the contest!
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Don’t look far to the right or left,
at this trick I have become quite deft.
For over there it’s not as good,
that is something that’s understood.
this was an amazing write...it has that supernatural feel to it but at the same time there's the feeling of reality...so many times we turn our head an pretend that the world is great...it's when we refuse to look away that we can make it all better..
blessed be
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Have liked in big cities, this scene is all too common. People living in the same building you often pass, never smile, not even a nod.
The homeless on the streets with so many people rushing by who don't even stop, no one cares, too busy and caught up in themselves.
Humanity has lost it's meaning, your write is such a sad one but has brought the cold reality of our world up out into focus.
We are all caught up in issues that really don't matter when we should be spending more time thinking about fellow man.
This was an inspiring write and many should read this poem and rethink about life around them.
Well done.
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Thought Provoking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow!!!!!!!!!!! You really tell it like it is in this piece!! But you speak the truth in volumes. I know I have seen it many timesin downtown areas where business people just walked right by like the homeless, hungry people are not even there, or even cross the street to avoid passing or amikng eye contact with them. But to soare a dollar could give them a cold drink on a hot day or a hot drink on a cold day!!! How sad is this day in which we live!!!Thanks for bringing this issue into the light today!!!~~Toni~~
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So sad THEY DONT KNOW
When I am out I smile at everyone I have no reason not to but I do pass so many people that does just like your poem says and never see that smile I gave to them it sadens me for they are missing the simple pleasurs of life . This was a great write here
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