The rain trickles down the window
Like the tears that run down my cheeks
He left me...and why?
He wouldn't tell me.
I loved him, he was my only
My thoughts were filled with him
And now they are empty
The passion that burned inside me is gone
Replaced with misery
With my love gone
I am an empty book
With no one to love
I am a broken heart
The world sad, grieving with me for my love
He left me and I may never know why...
Author notes
Option - Love
In a list
A contest entry
- LOTS and LOTS of OPTIONS!!!!!!!! *Please come look* by Samantha-..
600 points, ended June 24, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Look deep into the contest!! >> OPTIONS by Dreams27.
600 points, ended July 1, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest!! Please enter!! by With Broken Wings.
1200 points, ended March 15, 2008, 102 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love AND PAIN by Ben and Brook.
300 points, ended April 28, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Wow this is beautiful. I can feel your pain, feel your tears, see the rain... It's all so vivid... You did such an amazing job with this... Keep up the good work
-
OOHH!! One more thing. You might want an ellipses (...) at the end. I can't spell.
-
-
thanks...good idea. i added them
-
-
awesome
The rain trickles down the window
Like the tears that run down my cheeks-the best lines in a poem ever go to these two ones above, amazing poem, pain exists but in a beautiful way...so descriptive...the eprson is missing out bigtime...love it can easily feel the emotions and relate so well written! -
awesome
great expression of emotion
-
Wow, babi, this is a really sad one. No offense to Turnip, but I don't think this needs to be changed. It was very good. Quite sad, but very meaningful, I could tell. Good luck!!!
-
Another Good One!
Two things I would fix about this poem:
With my love gone
It's a very meaningful line, but seemingly out of place.
The world is meaningless
Were you trying to make this poem gothic? If not, then this just doesn't fit.
Other than that, very solid beginning and last line. -
-
thanks for the suggestions...does it seem better now?
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
