As I look at all these girls
So beautiful and thin
I want to be like them
With such beautiful skin.
I look at my arms
All the scars
I know I've taken
This way too far
Two months with no food
When will I stop
Starving myself
Please, I want to stop.
Take the blade away
I want to be like them
With beautiful skin
And thin like them.
I was at the end
Then you came along
And you showed me love
And helped me get strong!
You told me I was beautiful
Although I didn't believe
You helped me see
The real me...
You showed me a love
I never knew before
You took my hand
And showed me more
Author notes
This is just something I came up with... yeah, I added some more.. I don't really know what I am doing... just please tell me what you think... thanks for your comments already...
This goes under cutting... and eating disorders.... i guess...
A contest entry
- The Dark Light.{{Personal Writes}} by Broken Machine.
1600 points, ended July 5, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options..Options..Options by fallenangel671.
1200 points, ended July 13, 2007, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
-
very deep
bust of life and death at first dark and alone then comes a bit of something we all need in this godforsaken earth ...Hope -
Wow!! this is Amazing!!! I absolutely love this! It's great! I feel the same way around others. <33
-
-
thanks.
-
-
your welcome =]
-
-
-
I usually don't read emo or emo-esque type poems. But yours is different. I like the unexpected twist towards the end. Love has that sort of power, scary at times! Your write flows well and although simple and innocent, it takes on a very mature feel. Kudos.
Also, thank you for your comment on my contest poem. Very much appreciated.
~*DJ*~
-
mhm
I like this a lot. Its amazing how one person can show you that there is more to life than needing to be perfect. In their eyes, you're perfect. Thats how my boyfriend is =] Great job
-
really good... but if someone doesnt love you for what you have and who you are then they arent worth it.. dont change yourself because someone else.. i cnt say dont do it cuz you want to.. but eating disorders can kill you... i dont eat much lol, but its just cuz im not hungry lol
-
Wonderful
This is really good, I like the revelation of the honesty in this piece. I am glad that you have quit cutting and that your are happy. You seem to have come to the relization that you must love and accept yourself. That is what I mean by revelation..Great write. Thanks for reading and commenting on my poem.
-
Great poem once again and full of emotion.
Amber
-
wow i loved this darling, i have always loved poems with a diaster then someone you truely loved saving you, this was an amazing poem and i hope you have recovered somewhat,
my favorite part would have to be:
Take the blade away
I want to be like them
With beautiful skin
And thin like them.
I was at the end
Then you came along
And you showed me love
And helped me get strong!
You told me I was beautiful
Although I didn't believe
You helped me see
The real me...
You showed me a love
I never knew before
You took my hand
And showed me more
this was an awesome write and i loved the emotions in it,
good luck in the contest
keep writing
~Ashley~<3 -
i thought it was very beautiful..... i can't really relate.... only to the emotion, very very wondersul!
-
This started out as a dark and sad poem, but ends on a positive, redemptive note. It's really makes me angry to see how the beauty industry and fashion media have caused so many self-destructive problems for young people in terms of self-image. Love conquers all, however, and I sincerely hope everything goes well with you from now on. Thanks for sharing your fine poetic talents.
All the best,
David Michaels
-
Awww, this is so painful and filled with lots of emotions....I hope that you really don't starve yourself
Kari -
-
thanks... no, I don't really starve myself... well, I used to... but not anymore.... ha.
-
-
aww that is very sad but sweet. i hope everything gets better. i think that it is very sad that your starving youself and cutting. i guess i am one of those girls you wish you were. i am very skinny and i weigh about 138 pounds. i am not a cutter or anything. if you ever wish to talk about any of your problems that you wish to stop i will gladly listen and help in anyway i can. great write.
-
Amaze.
This is a really good poem. I can really relate to this poem, I've been on and off with eating disorders and self-harm for a while now. I have to say, well done for having the bravery to share your writing about it.
-
nice
this is a very cute poem and i love the redemptive outlook, well done!!!
-
no, it makes sense, the repetitiveness emulates the intense focus those with eating disorders have.. the preoccupation with one thing. I'd like to see the ending a little more developed, more because I'm curious than anything else. How did this person help?
nice write -
-
Thank you for your kind words... I have added a little more now... I don't know if it's any good or not... but, I'm trying... ha.
-
-
this is really good
i struggled with eating disorders for a long time and they are very hard to overcome and as far as cutting goes i have scars up and down both arms and legs i always wanted to be really skinny and perfect skin but people exept me for who i am now.
-
-
I have scars on my left arm.. and all up and down both legs... thanks for your comment.
-
-
That was beautiful. I'm sorry you've had problems with eating disorders, I've been there done that. *sighs* If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. Thanks for entering this contest and good luck!
-
-
Thank you so much for your comment... and I'm here for you if you need to talk!
-
-
Speaks so much of pain and sadness; of regret
My advice to you is to just be yourself; don't try and compare yourself to others for others can be fake, dishonest, and frankly, not nice to imitate
Just be yourself; take care of yourself and appreciate the gift of life that God has given to you
This is a fine piece; you wrote it well -
-
thank you for your comment... and I will take that advice...
-
-
How Sadful Of You
Wow! Should i be worried about you? I mean if you ever need to talk I'm here, and as for the poem, it was great! You really got the message through to me, good job!
-
-
ha. thanks, no, u don't really need to be too worried about me... this was just something I had gone through... never really got the feelings out... you know what I mean? ha.
-
-
i know how you feel i used to be like that. i hope you relized that you are beautiful the way you are. it took me along time and there time that i won't eat b/c i want to lose weight but i can't of this thing i have and it sux the only way i lose it by take some pill to help my thing i have. just be careful
-
-
aw,t hat sucks.. and yeah, I realize I'm beautiful the way I am... just wrote that to let people know I go through this kind of thing too... even tho I'm very confident in my body, I still look at girls and thinl "OMG! I wish I looked like her!" I think that about Jessica Alba... lol. she's hot! I wish I looked like her! haha thanks for your comment.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 29 of 29
