Is he nothing but of spring that changes in his love
So as the flowers not consistent in their moods
Some months they bloom then other times they hide
Well tomorrow be of summer, a heat of dismay
For he is more beautiful then my own tender heart
I rock against the chair swinging with his sunrise
And the silence of the sky seems so suddened
Shall time only meet me when my soul has breathe
Inhaling death a chance to breathe one sweet life?
Yet it seems he always brushes my atmosphere
As I watch him comb the rays of my sun every morning
and where he goes he places a bundle of floras there
Like I said he is more beautiful then my own tender heart
I give my lover's name to the season of spring
Only love itself knows if this love is real
Is what I see only given for a short period of time?
Must I learn now how to bleed my eyes and wait
So is he nothing but of spring that changes in his love?
In a list
A contest entry
- 3 options by CharlotteRose.
450 points, ended February 17, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Celticmoon's and Leander's glue a trophy on my Prewrite by leander.
800 points, ended March 27, 2008, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
This has NOTHING to do with my contest!
Removal! -
The imagery you have used here make this a very strong poem. The only thing I missed maybe for a bit is punctuation.
Thank you for this entry!
Leander -
This is like reading a fairy tale, it weaves wonderous images and really takes you in with the fantasy of it all. Gorgeous.
-
Words selcetion is everyting in poetry and can make or break a piece. You have made all the right choices here in ths write. It really brings out the imagery and leaves the reader having the breath stolen.
Thank you for entering.
Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
-
What beautiful word choice! I've seen scarce more romantic piece than this one, as far as wording and flow are concerned. Thanks for entering and for sharing your talent.
P.S. No pre-writes for the pic, though. That's the rules.
-
This is Great
You have written a wonderfull poem here, it reaches out to all who read it, it was great, John
-
This is beautiful...I found the title to use in your contest and just had to read the poem behind it...Amazing, romantic and breathtaking...
Lynda
-
No my friend you are the one with the skills. My words cannot compare. This was beautiful. Thanks for the comment on my poem!
-
Amazing
Is he nothing but of spring that changes in his love
So as the flowers not consistent in their moods
Some months they bloom then other times they hide
Well tomorrow be of summer, a heat of dismay
For he is more beautiful then my own tender heart
The set-up for the verse in the opening words is perfect
The balance is a smooth as it needs for the peace within
This is as good as anything I have read by you,
Love the that it is written at several levels of understanding
For the 53rd time in 9,836 comments, I say Amazing
Just beautifull
Rick
-
This is fantastic piece of work. I don't know who that person maybe, whoever he is, I am sure he is a hell of a gentleman. I love your words, they are smooth, like strawberry smoothies. Keep up the most amazing job and thank you for sharing. Yours, A.K.A, Mack
-
Your words are just... unthinkable. I mean
As I watch him comb the rays of my sun every morning
where you get your ideas I'm not sure but I want to go there and get the thoughts that you get.
-
Beautiful entry...thank you so much..
Best wishes..
Peace
~A~ -
-
Can u read it again I added some lines felt it was't done called "Is He"
-
-
done and my pleasure to do so...
I like the changes..
Peace
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
