There was a time
when sneaking out of heaven's gates seemed like
a brilliant idea;
'till my wings went dead weight;
and I found my dreams
shatter into nothing but
shards and grains of glassy sand.
My reflection was spinning in a broKen circle
on the darkened sea below;
my ribs cracking in increments
into the depths of sand;
smothered in snow.
The sky's my sin,
and I'm just a gust of hurricane wind;
I pulled the shore out to sea,
slipping my way onto the glittering streets.
The highway lights came down and I lost
subjective memories
to the knowledge that
I was 7 starlights below the surface
of the clouds I once walked.
My evidence was pornographic
and my mouth tasted like
bitter white pills,
coated in cheap thrills;
an attempt to remember all that I'd forgot;
searching for the key,
still missing the lock.
-- but lord knows I can't breathe
through words like these;
where your silence is vivid
and your screams harmonize
in pieces to a robotic beat.
{{ we'll get laced under the
liquid moon;
tripping our way through this
sultry mood -
your heart can dance with the acid
in my stomach, and our skulls can collide
in a mess of sk-sk-skittles and cheap wine. }}
&
I know a place, (I said),
"I know a place
where you can forget your face
and become something new..."
"... but I'm afraid to lead us there;
'cause I'm starting to lose myself in you."
&
(He whispered...)
"You're nothing more than another chapter
in my godawful story.
Everyone dies in the finale,
and the only happy ending is the
book's final page--
'cause you'll never have to read another word,
and you can never repeat this nightmare you've heard."
I let myself fall into a recreated blue sky,
often mentioned in crumpled up pieces of paper--
so tell me, blue;
is the reflection in this mirror alive enough for you?
'cause I'm feeling kinda down;
and my eyes are a little clouded-
black-rimmed emeralds
under thirteen
romantic-horror movie reels--
injected with a little bit of starry glamour
in a hope to catch your attention.
[[ so can you prove me wrong this time around? ]]
I can fly a few feet in the air;
but the higher you fall is the harder
you hit the ground.
So maybe tonight
I'll fly into a severed sky;
cut off the circulation of this beating heart we call
magick...
and into something we can create with
the glances we passed each other's way--
{{ we'll get laced under the liquid moon.... }}
and I'm covered in the feelings I meant to
eliminate through you...
You're my welcomed mistake,
though a little out of place-
reminding me of the streetlights
by the seawall I first arrived in...
The streetlights that glow the corner walkers,
with their curves and curls that take me by surprise;
living the life of perfection through
losing control.
{{ we can get laced... }}
and f a de x a w a y...
into nothing.
{{ we can get laced,
and disappear... }}
without a trace of fingerprints,
and live our life in the streetlights,
with our hearts and
our little white pills
that coat our stomach...
we can find love,
in a mess of imperfections.
x
Author notes
Fireworks
The skyline is cloudy and gray;
your heart is in my hands
and there's nothing in a set of stitches
that you can do to stay the same
in all of this.
I refer to you constantly;
but my words go unnoticed when you can't read
my thoughts like you say you could.
You have a name;
and a face-
but your thoughts are a mystery that I still can't place.
What do you see in me?
You have the light of the world in your eyes;
but I'm a black hole-
and I metaphorically suck.
A contest entry
- Round 1: Hit me With your Best Pre-write. by edit my world..
425 points, ended October 20, 2007, 64 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Just about the best poem in the world.
♥
i loved it, great job.
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Thank you so much.
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i love this. the emotion is so vivid -- your style is great. nice job :-)
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God, this is amazing. I'm in love with this piece. I didn't get the meaning of all of it, but god...that's what makes it beautiful. The mysterious, non-strait forward way the emotions are expressed. Beautiful, god awefully, beautifully chilling to my core. I can't say anymore.
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Well let me be honest!
When i saw that it was 157 lines long i freaked, but then i sat down and read it...and wow. this is a deep poem, and i loved it!
Thanks for entering
++finalist++
<3
TheSpork Princess
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Nice poem little long though i really like the verse i'm starting to lose myself in you
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Nice write, very long though and I'm sorry, I feel like I wasted your points because I just can't read a poem this long. I read my novels, but I like poetry short.
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I agree with someone down there who said this is like a movie. Like each stanza describes a different scene or something..I don't know, but it's cool and unique.
There are some parts in this that are completely amazing in that racing-heart-beats, reread-it-20-times sort of way.
Examples: I know a place,
[I said] "I know a place
where you can forget your face
and become something new."
{{But I'm afraid to lead us there;
'cause I'm starting to lose myself in you}}
I can fly a few feet in the air,
but the higher you fall is the harder
you hit the ground.
some parts of this could be reworked so it fit together better, but overall this was pretty amazing.
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Heavy Stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This was so heavy with angst that I almost faded into the darkness of what you have written here. Still although long I stuck it out to find the ending still sad!!! You expressed yourself very well and the stanza's I liked best are the three you included in you author's notes!!! Thanks for sharing and hope things in your "Black Hole" will lighten up for you!!!~~Toni~~
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started off strong, but you lost me half way through it. maybe just too much abstract angst. tighten it up, perhaps.
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This went along really well with the odd Latina/techno beat coming from the television. Yeah, odd. It gave it a cool flow and I was somewhat picturing it rolling through my head as a movie with a kick ass soundtrack.
[soundtrack = your words]
You
are
GOD.
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jesus haley...
my friends were talking when i was reading this, and i serioulsy refused to listen until i got through the whole thing.
i really, really liked this, and i usually wont read through long poems.
i love you.
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amazing as usual
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