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So this is love?

Looking down all I'm able to spot out
are the rocks at the bottom with the
deadly waves crashing against them yet
above I see you and the blue sky.Your smiling
and yelling something so gentley I would
think that you were saying it was only
by accident.But then I realize that you
had waited for this day and wanted this to
happen to me.

So as I fall into my death I'll smile up at you
to let you know I am not afraid of what waits
for me down at the bottom of this beautiful cliff with it's

sharp skin piercing rocks and deadly  crashing waves

but if I am not afraid to die I'm just surpirsed that this finally happened

it's funny how life works but if not afraid and I'm surpirised

and glad to die then what could i possibly be htinking of

as the bed of rock tips grow larger and the taste of

salt washes upon my lips and burns as it enters the

cuts upon them from your bitting


I'll think of how you tricked me to come up to take
pictures and how you said to stand on the very tip
of the cliff so you'd be able to get the ocean.I did so

not realizing that I could tell that it was going to fall soon

with just a little more weight it could be done.I should

have realized your plan as you came to "hug" me.

I told you i loved you, I shared my secrets with

you but there was one thing I never told you

I wanted to die I wanted this to happen.

I wanted you to hurt me so much that it caused
me to cry so as I fall into my death darling I
want you to know that I'm proud of you for
you helped me.You set my soul free I'm allowed
to love again.So thank you my love for pushing
me into my  death and I well think of you as
I am being pierced by the knife sharp tips from
the bed of rocks that await me down at the bottom.

I will think of my new self as my body is washed

away and eaten by the creatures of the deep.

Author notes

this is a poem about someone being fooled to their death and being happy about it

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • God is my reality
    September 23, 2007

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    This is really good, but not quite what I was looking for. Nice entry though. It is an excellent write. Good luck


  • Beautyfull-x-Angel
    September 17, 2007
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    wow couldnt have wrote it better myself amazing thanx for the entry and best of luck


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    June 30, 2007

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    This is very nicely done. I would like to see it a bit more laid out in poetic form, but I got the gist and it is a good job to be sure. Best wishes to you.


  • ItsalltheSame68
    June 25, 2007
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    You didn't put the option #.It was well written good job.


  • Systems Malfunction
    June 25, 2007

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    I liked this poem. It was very interesting as well as emotional. It seemed to go back and forth between love and hate and liking the situation and disliking the situation in my mind, and I think that adds to the effect. It seems like this poem was written as a ramble, and it actually worked well for the poem. This is truly a job well done. Good job and good luck in the contest!


  • Avalanche.Echo
    June 24, 2007

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    Interesting. There were quite a few spelling and grammatical errors. It seemed to me more like prose than poetry, but that's just me.

    All in all, I liked it. It was interesting and a new way to put things.


  • CassidyEngle
    June 21, 2007
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    Pretty good and good luck in my contest


  • ForeverFarAway
    June 21, 2007
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    I agree,
    Oh, my goodness, this was so very interesting to read and a different take on the subject. A dark poem, but yet is seems to have a happy ending in some odd way. Your imagery and thoughts were well done


    this was an awsome, interesting, poem/story I just loved it!!!!


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    June 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. Different in good ways.


  • ScarletO gold member
    June 18, 2007

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    Oh, my goodness, this was so very interesting to read and a different take on the subject. A dark poem, but yet is seems to have a happy ending in some odd way. Your imagery and thoughts were well done.

1 - 10 of 10