This might have been the perfect place
The best I ever came across
Where dusk to dawn is a span of faith
And miracles performed
My head is full of prophecy
The past is crystal clear
I'm half a lifetime far away
And further passed than near
My choices lost
I have no clue
These hands now hold no purpose
Guess it's time to move on
This isn't how I imagined it to be
A hollow deep despair
Where half a lifetime in a blink
Has simply disappeared
This place of miracles still hold
A fascination over me
Where either saints or ghosts take up the tune
that echo's through the tears
This world can be a lonely place
It shows no remorse or fear
The outcomes all turn out the same
That leave us crippled up inside
So write down your prayers on paper print
And burn them with your desires
Let the smoke fill up the void
And inhabit the spaces between the fears
This might have been the perfect place
The best I ever came across
Where dusk to dawn is a span of faith
And miracles performed...
A contest entry
- Open House by Nicole Hanna.
2000 points, ended July 9, 2007, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
write down your prayers on paper print
And burn them with your desires
Let the smoke fill up the void
And inhabit the spaces between the fears
This was very inspiring, and lifted the reader to an area of hope and redemption. And although the words and phrases were simple, their strength and power were not. -
Hey, did you know you rhymed here and there throughout the piece? I was really diggin that because it didn't strike me as anything obvious (which it couldn't be if the rhyme was unintentional and you didn't even know you were doing it lol), and just did something really cool to the meter, especially in the first two stanzas. Maybe it was just the alliteration here, those same-sound words that played out in the piece... it just worked towards the flow. Loved the second to last line. Then again, I have this total fascination with the mention of faith or religion or anything like that in poetry lol
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