Fireflies darting in the dark of night eluding
hands that reach out to capture a glimpse
of nature in all its wonderful beauty
should be felt though never touched
by an undeserving miracle of life
that speaks but cannot listen
listens but cannot hear
hears but cannot see
sees but cannot understand
understands but cannot believe
the miracle within left without
spirit governing the soul of the body
would be better off being
a grain of sand in all its splendor
in the glass an heirloom throughout time
given to share in the communion of wine and bread
a fellowship congregation of like minds
pleased to bask in glory
giving praise and thanks for all
blessings received
though the window may not be stained
the glass will always be fragile
it also comes from sand.
In a list
A contest entry
- Splendor In The Glass by kjack.
700 points, ended June 18, 2007, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Extra...extra..read all about it.. by crimsondew.
600 points, ended July 14, 2007, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 56-60 ages enter your best prewrite Judged by RedwingSpirit.
675 points, ended January 18, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You Decide Who Wins. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
525 points, ended February 13, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Become a Favourite! by BabyBun.
400 points, ended November 3, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 41 of 41
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The last two lines, were simply fantastic. "The glass will always be fragile, it also comes from sand." Beautiful. I loved this piece.
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So beautifully crafted.
Thanks for entering & best of luck -
now that I got some points thaought you would love some and good luck
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This is writing at its best.Can see why you won so many awards.They are very deserving.I liked thr rhyhem to this and the way it was layed out.You write beautifully and I am glad that I got the chance to read this.
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wow i love the style and flow of this great poem, i love the final few lines, well done on this powerful write and all the imagery.
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Imagery within this poem is brilliantly done.
From start to finish it is simply perfectly wonderful ,It leaves you thinking about the world and life and is just beautiful to read.
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magnificent
A brilliant write of thought provoking imagery and delight, subtle but powerful poignant message in this write
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Great write! I love how you strung the imagery in this piece. beautiful
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i loved the imagery in this one
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A lovely flow throughout, and I especially liked the last three lines, "though the window may not be stained, the glass will always be fragile/it also comes from sand" -- so powerful. A great read.
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Awe inspiring. Really lovely piece. I often have more to say but this time, not so much, sorry. It is really quite a great poem.
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Aye, a fine write, indeed. You have expressed yourself quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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this is a passionate poem....it's meant to be read by
our souls...not eyes of flesh...but heart of soul....
I liked how you shaped it...with air...it made us slow
down and sip upon each word and thought...questioning
ourselves....
well done...poetic beauty of a poem meant to be read
with the eyes of our souls.
ears/Seattle
well done!
well done!
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I really like it! I'm alittle confused by the line "the miracle within left without..." It took me a couple times to read it over to understand what you meant. I really liked the idea of the poem, but the last line didn't do it for me. It is such a strong poem, and the last line just doesn't give the rest justice. I would consider revising it, especially so it doesn't use the word "it" at the start of the line. Otherwise, great job! :
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had you read the poem correctly you would've noticed one sentence. If the word it didn't do it for you,than so be it.
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I'm very sorry if I offended you. I thought the whole idea of AllPoetry was to get feedback. I'm sorry if my feedback was not what you wanted, my mistake.
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how very cleverly written. So much detail and emotion you can paint a picture with your words. I really love this
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WOW!!! This is absolutely wonderful! I'm always in great awe of poets that can link all stanzas together and keep the flow going without sounding forced.
I loved it!!
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Thanks for the stunning entry - good luck
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This was a very beautiful poem that is well writtena and a great read. I enjoyed it and thanks for entering my contest
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Amazing Sentence!
That has to be the longest amazing sentence I've ever read! And I've lived in Wales! May we endeavour to protect the fragility of all that has been given to us and learn to hear, see, understand and then speak real words. Great write my friend, good luck for the contest. Sol
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Oh I surely love fireflies, can't remember the last time I saw one. Thank you for your entry! Becks
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Beautiful write and so deserving of so many trophies. Very well done my friend.
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This was lovely and it was lovely to listen to even though my hoarse voice probably ruined it!!!!
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Delighful.
Congrats on winning so many trophies for this piece. It has a great message.
Thank you for entering and all the best in the contest. -
Congrats on all the shinys!
A delightful read. I can see why you have all the shiny's, very well deserved. You have written a beautiful piece with a lovely message for all. Superbly penned dad!!
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i see why this poem won so many times
it is wonderful and had a great message
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this was really interesting
i enjoyed it
it show anthing thats taken for granted anything simple or broken down can be made into something bigger or better, good write -
Such delicate ending - your words are beautiful and encased so fluently. Very tainting and such nice phrasing.
Thanks for entering,
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Wow I like this poem alot Congratulations on the Gold and honorable mention trophies. Thank you for taking the time to enter this poem into my contest. I wish you the best of luck.
redwingspirit
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form and flow perfect
imagery superb
words and feelings excellent
what to say
Keep up the good work
Riftkin -
Thias is excellent. The only thing I can see that would make this poem better is to try and even the lines out in stanzas. Everything else is very good
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Like this
Great form and flow and I like the imagery you have used here - shows talent - you 'took me there' and it is a compelling read - nice job
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I really liked this imagery. Very nicely penned. Thank you very much for entering. I wish you the best of luck in my contest.
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Such wonderful imagery put together... The thoughts are beautiful... A pleasure to read indeed.. All the best in my contest...
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Hey congrats on the trophy! After reading this I can see that you definitely deserved it! Great write! i love it!
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what can i say? this is great! urafinalist!
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This is a very good abstract poem. (And you followed directions! Bonus points for you!) The thing I love about abstract poetry is that you can get about a thousand different meanings out of it...deep, funny, or otherwise. I find this poem to be very unique and well written. Great job!
Thank you for your entry!
~Phoenix
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I like this a lot. Especially the end, how all is made from sand. It's abstract and unique.
-Renizzle
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What a beautiful contest entry! This is so beautiful and quite inspiring....really touched me...good luck in this contest...smiles, Terry
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Wow, this was magnificent !!! It is simply breathtaking. I really enjoyed your use of imagery. This is a superb write. Thanks so much for entering the contest, and good luck to you. Beautiful job on this. I love the feelings I got when I read this. Excellent job.
becca
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