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Killer Toilet Paper

Missing image

Killer Toilet Paper

Yea do I sit in discernment of love
I reached and it grabbed me tight as a glove
Pain and anguish tear at my fragile soul
Now to decide, weighing passion and dole

Paper was something I thought I could trust
Yea here I now pay for my sins of lust
Use the paper or not, I’m forced to choose
Whichever ever I pick I will surely loose

I need to wipe for I didn’t just fart
An anguish so great it tears at my heart
Grabbed by the paper from the killer roll
It’s squeezing my hand but it wants my soul

Do I jump and run all dripping and wet?
Or do I wipe and lose the paper bet?

 

 

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Form: Sonnet

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • artis
    November 12, 2008

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    true grit, in handling this dilemma, not only by your stamina but by the true grit embedded in every roll. Some form of

    ancient Chinese torture imported into the very public bathrooms we must frequent. plus they give them such lovely names like heavnly softique, or cloud nine....but it's sandpaper ground into dryer lint, and rolled on a tube. Funniest thing I ever had to sub for T.P. in the field was moss, but it's incredibly soft, doesn't crumble in a big enough piece, and it's all natural, perhaps we should make synthetic moss and roll it up and call it "Mother Nature's Perfect Wipe."...lol


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    June 19, 2008

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    is it back to front or front to back
    for writing this poem you deserve a smack...
    HaHaHaHaHaHaHa he I sit broken hearted tried my best and only farted I needed a smile glad I looked in here...
    Cyber


  • the-gifted
    September 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    omg! that made me seriously giggle and kinda grossed me out. that is a great write. good luck in the contest.


  • LadyLavender gold member
    July 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Gurl, you are a master....For Real!!!!!


  • Bazza
    June 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    What a ladylike poem

    This is a question I will have to pass,
    Are you wiping your fanny or maybe your ..?


  • roses on fire
    June 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    that is a very tough dicision! wow great write this is beautiful! amazing! wonderful! Could go on forever!
    i love this mom wow! you rock
    this is funny and deep!

    phree bunnies!

    i love you soooooooooo much hope we talk soon!

    love your daughter

    faith


  • Dalaney gold member
    June 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    lol...sorry, but this made me laugh. Love the poem, tho, and I don't think I will ever look at toilet tissue quite the same way again... Love, Lane


  • Desire gold member
    June 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    OMG!!!


    Holy Moly!!!
    What in the world
    Loved this piece and I was thinking to myself...
    Self~ I wonder what contest this would be in
    What a title too
    Brilliant!!
    Thank You for sharing the laughter
    and in Sonnet form too
    (gently smacks head)
    Form Queen

    Many blessings to You
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Laura
    June 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    lolololol this is bloody brilliant well done love i totally love it xxx

  • Eulb kcalB
    June 18, 2007
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    LOL damned awesome Amera this one had me laughing out loud! ingenious

    lov
    J


  • blueyez
    June 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You are amazing! wow you took something so mundane and made it amazing! Then you put it in form what are you trying to prove... we already know you are the queen!


  • PerVirtuous
    June 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I liked it. Quite the assignment. Three bunnies.


  • Amber Lee
    June 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was really good!lol I loved it.


  • ellipsist
    June 17, 2007
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    LOL!

    nicely done... original and entertaining and such amusing imagery!


  • Whoochi gold member
    June 17, 2007

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    OMG!!!!! Dollface, what a unique perspective..is that what they mean when they worn ya on commercials about "Don't squeeze the Charmin?" Maybe they (manufactureres ) know some thing we do not..this was frikkin hysterical..ty for the giggles...


  • StarEyes
    June 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ok, I am gonna try to comment on this one and hopefully I won't get booted....

    I love this one!!! What a great read this is! Well you certainly took an ordinary object, and made it into a scary one! I think this may just be one of my favorites so far....

    Love ya

    Sunshine


  • Swan song gold member
    June 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Never in my life have I read about a woman having to make such a choice. A man maybe. and like always you do it perfectly well. Very Very Good!


  • RedAquarius
    June 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    LOL, great job!! You picked a really unique subject, I'm sure LM will love it. This made me laugh and I'm pretty sure anytime I go to the bathroom, I'm now going to think my TP is after my soul! *smile*

1 - 19 of 19