I've lived on the
earth, and seen only
through the eyes
of a two-year-old;
there is so much
still not licked
through my soft
dwelving teeth.
my words
try
to dance with the page;
instead they’re hiding
in mild pages
of emotion:
whispering messages::
is the cup half empty
or half full? it doesn't
matter; I wanna drink
what's in it,, look on
the bright side & the
dark side; balance your
wings for flight; toujours.
only it doesn’t matter,
everything sprawls into jaded
champagne:
all my attempts to
push humanity with letter shotguns,
are barricaded in metaphor.
A contest entry
- Rounds Contest - Round 1 - An introduction ... by imgone.
450 points, ended June 21, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Shoot.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
is the cup half empty
or half full? it doesn't
matter; I wanna drink
what's in it,, look on
the bright side & the
dark side; balance your
wings for flight; toujours
niice
&& loving your tittle;; distorted is like.. one of my fav words. =] lol
but yes, this is FANTASTIC ryan doll. Very awesome.
xoxo
-alice
-
Wow!
uh imma left speechless so imma just applaud n go!
-
-
there is so much
still not licked
through my soft
dwelving teeth.
These lines are just a little too wierd for me, but I absolutely LOVE these lines: I wanna drink
what's in it,, look on
the bright side & the
dark side; balance your
wings for flight; toujours.
Too bad you couldn't end it on such high notes- cause this phrase is more than poetry- it literally sings as you read it- very beautiful - you have captured the true essence in life in these lines- and they are not marred by the other stuff- they ring louder! -
-
Will try to work on a good ending
-
-
" only it doesn’t matter,
everything sprawls into jaded
champagne:
all my attempts to
push humanity with letter shotguns,
are barricaded in metaphor."
Man I wish I could write as often as you do.
It seems like when I DO write, it totally absorbs me and takes over, and I feel drained yet purged at the same time. But because of that, it's like I can't write two good pieces back to back haha. I'm so weird >_>
But enough of my rambling, this is amazing as always.
I like the tone of this poem. It gives the reader a somewhat dreamy feeling. Great job and good luck in the contest!
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
