I L@@K-ed at [her] h.a.p.p.y
face, and
[sighed]. The h*a*p*p*i*n*e*s*s
Was N.O.T because
of M^E.
\
My heart <3 B*r*o*k*e*n,
s-h-a-t-t-e-r-e-d,
[[ashamed]] that I loved,
one who [[would not l*o*v*e in return]]
Silent b*u*r*n*i*n*g t-e-a-r-s
r..u..n D
O
W
N my s.c.o.r.c.h.e.d (cheeks), [WHY]
must I a*l*w*a*y*s Love one
W^H^O loves me [not]
W*a*l*k away.
Good-b*y*e
Author notes
"Mirror mirror on the wall." Mrjunkman
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1 - 7 of 7
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lol an applause for stretching yourself into an alien realm...! Perhaps our first attempts aren't masterpieces- but here I think you've summed up the genre pretty succinctly... (and somehow I don't think the piece came from deep within your woefully torn heart!) There are a few good writers in the genre, most are young of course; what I appreciate is their freshness with one-syllable words that I've long forgotten...
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i haven't read much dirty-pretty though i have come across a few good ones. i find this type of poetry needs at least two reads to 'get it'... if there is something to get
good dirty-pretty is kinda cool 
i think the way you've chosen to use the punctuation works out pretty good. it emphasizes simple words, a simple thought... and the ending works for me
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yeahh. =/
I have to agree with everyone else. Ditch the punctuation.
Although, I do actually like the words. May not be very original but makes an emotional piece.
<33 -
Dirty pretty isn't ridiculous puncuation.
Even if you stripped your poem down to just words, it still wouldn't sound original at all. It isn't deep; just sounds like a cliche 'emo' poem. You can barely read it with all t*h*i*s c/r/a/p [[[[surrounding]]]] ~~it~~. It makes it look ugly. -
Um, well thank you.
I think you might want to check up on what dirty-pretty really is though, it's not just a bunch of punctuation and ****'s and words.
You have to put meaning behind it or it's nothing.
This poem was a little cliche, and a little too short.
But thank you for your efforts. :] -
As Much As I Appriciate This Genre' Of Poetry;;
This Isn't Dirty Pretty; However I Understand How Easily It Is To Be Missguided.
I Do Like This Though;
Good Theme.
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not my cup of tea, sill very well done. Your presentation of this piece was wonderful. A fun read all in all.
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