When Was It?

When was it God,
that I decided to turn away?
I say I turned to someone else.
they saved me.

When was it God,
that I realized you weren't there?
They say it's a test,
that's why we're in so much pain.

When was it God,
that you abandoned me?
Are you there?
Can you hear me?

Why did I get no reply?
I screamed for you.
I called your name to help me.
You left me alone.

I told my parents
that I didn't want to be Christian.
I didn't want to follow
someone who just isn't there.

In your name,
they ignored me.
For weeks on end.
Hardly a full sentence at all.

I cried myself to sleep,
every single night.
I begged you to help me believe.
I begged for my parents to love me.

I called out to you.
I screamed, let me believe in you again.
Bring me back, I thought I was lost.
Let my parents love me.

Don't make them ignore me,
Don't have them hate me.
Don't leave me without a family.
Don't abandon me.

But you weren't listening.
Or you weren't there.
Or you don't exist.
You, who I once trusted.

Left me at the mercy of the world,
she who shows no mercy.
I found something else,
they saved me in a way that you never had.

They ask no worship, nor sacrifice.
Merely appreciation, and thanks.
True equals, speak to me.
Believe what you will, they saved me.

When was it God,
that you left me in darkness?
And they brought me to light,
in the way you never could?

Good luck God,
Protect your people.
but I wash my hands of this,
I was my hands of you.