There's a thing or two you should remember,
but who I am, it matters not.
All you need to know right now,
is I like it very hot!
So you think you have got
what it takes to play the game?
Rough is what I have in mind,
do you got the guts to tame?
I am a beast of lust,
desire driven is my forte.
But for you, my precious one,
tonight, you'll have your way.
Bind me in your pleasures,
no one has to know.
And when the lights go out,
just make me lose control!
Tease me baby, please me,
let me feel your fiery sin.
I'll lose myself in every caress
from the brush of your tempting skin.
As I squirm within your grasp
where thrusting passions flee,
ride me to the orgasmic brink,
set my soul forever free.
So bind me in your pleasures,
no one has to know.
And when the lights go out,
you'll make me lose control!
There's a hunger in my eyes,
your taste upon my lips.
Ecstasy's smile creeps on your face
with the thrusting of your hips.
Push me harder, faster;
baby, I want to take it all.
I give myself completely,
surrender to your call.
Now bind me in your pleasures,
and no one has to know.
For when the lights go out,
baby, I'll lose control!
Make me scream in pain,
but damn, it feels so good.
Impaled upon demanding inches
beyond the sexual hood.
Lift me to the heavens,
where the core of the apex reigns.
Bound within your pleasures
as the seed of life remains.
Set me free of your binds,
baby, no one ever knew.
As the lights flickered out,
I gave control to you.
Author notes
For The Erotic Challenge, Round 2
http://allpoetry.com/column/show/2336456
Having to use the following for inspiration
http://www.absolutelyrics.com/lyrics/view/evanescence/lose_control/
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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98 POINTS IS A WEEL DESERVED SCORE!
This was a very HOT piece, indeed - that had me nerly losing control BUT as i have a contest going on that needs judging by HOW MANY STROKES that it take me to cum while reading the entries _ I refrained from JEARKING OFF to this piece - for now- which wasn't an easy task - to say the least! GOOD LUCK in the contest!
Love & Peace!
Earl.
Here cum three lucky fellows who read this and came as they didn't have to judge a contest like mine which has 10 entries - so it should be closed for judging now which will take a few days - at least!
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Your score!
Presentation..............................20
spelling, punctuation.....................20
originality...............................19
how well you handled the challenge........20
overall...................................19
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total.....................................98 -
Storm, this is a fabulous write you have penned here. You have taken a highly erotic song and turned it into a story of your own. Outstanding job!
**Master Ktulu**
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this is great and it is a song in itself. it is hot and you should be proud of this poem. i give this a 10
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Thank you very much, appreciate your comments.
Storm
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Fantastic job,
this is very well writen,
erotic with class! i give this a 9
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Thank you so much for the comments, appreciate it.
Storm
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wow this is just so well done... i think you have a good grip on what was asked of you and i love the way your inspiration took place... I loved this stanza
As I squirm within your grasp
where thrusting passions flee,
ride me to the orgasmic brink,
set my soul forever free.
though i would have probably just stated
Ride me to orgasms brink
set my soul forever free...
well done Yay the hardcorians...
cheers
Jen
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Thank you Jen, appreciate it. Hey I had to get at least 50 lines out of this short little song, and make it rhyme with the rest of it, had to add somewhere, lol.
Storm
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Very good write Storm
It was almost as though it was made for a tune - it could be lyrics for a song methinks
Well done on a superb write!
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I guess I used the inspiration of the song a little more than I thought. It does kind of sound like lyrics, but the more I read it, the more satisfied I am with the outcome (rare for me!)
Thank you for commenting.
Storm
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Wholy Moses! I clicked on this expecting some erotica, but not this hot! PHEW!!! Now to go home and uh, play a video game. That's it. Video game.
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A video game?!?!? LMAO, yeah right! Glad you liked hun. Thanks for the comments.
Storm
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OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Stromy::f
You go girl, this is truly great, I have had to god and sit aside a while after reading all of these pieces written for this challenge -know what I mean-
;) The imagery was great and the way in which you played with the words very good.....
I enjoyed this very much, good write and keep it up!
Good luck in the challenge..... And thank you for sharing with me on this site.....
Be blessed with love and light always.....
Forever your friend in pen,
AngelicMistress...Tanya
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Thank you Tanya, I so appreciate your wonderful comment. Glad you've enjoyed my little read.
Storm
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*does happy dance* love it! love it!!
I'm not usually a big fan of rhyme, unless it's done right. I didnt even notice it until about the 4th stanza. Superbly done Miss!
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Thank you, thank you. Much appreciate the comments.
Storm
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Damn girl! This is hot. Surely miss reading these. Writing them too. Love these lines:
Make me scream in pain,
but damn, it feels so good.
Impaled upon demanding inches
beyond the sexual hood.
Sends chills down my spine. Such a temptation in these words. Wow. Great job hon.
My love to you
Vickie
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Thank you Vickie. Think those were my favorite lines as well = )
Appreciate the comments hun, glad you enjoyed.
Storm
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