This is all happening again,
Sleepless nights,
Endless fights,
Arrogance is our enemy
History repeats itself,
All this pain,
It's back again
Drowning in our misery
Here we go,
This is too bad,
It makes me so sad,
You are no longer ABLE to say you love me
What's happening?
You're blackening my heart,
And ripping us apart
How much worse could it be?
Once more, it comes,
It takes too much to die,
I'm almost out of tears, you don't know how much I cry,
You're killing me, If only you could see
Again and again,
Alright, that's enough,
It's getting too tough,
I wish you would agree
Copyright {c} 2007 Hannah Duffin {All Rights Reserved}
A contest entry
- Choose A Title by piccola.
700 points, ended June 28, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I agree that the emotion would be stronger if you didn't try so hard to rhyme. You could try free verse or let your emotions rule and don't force it..thanks for entering.
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i think that it could have more emotion if you didn't try so hard to rhyme.. if you would just let yourself go and give your full emotion this would be a fantastic write.. i could tell you felt very tired and i could feel you wanting to be loved, but thats only because i tried to feel it.. it could be better
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I don't see that title in my contest.
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omg, im sorry, my brain just stopped, ima fix that....
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Well written! You show great promise... keep up the good work!
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'You are no longer ABLE to say you love me' I found the all caps for able to be very significant as well as the use of the word itself. Could go on and on about the why's of it, but I won't.
This one is sad and kinda makes me angry at the same time. I have yet to understand why people can't just come out and say "This isn't working, we had our time and now it's over.' So much senseless heartache is caused due to a lack of courage. Grrrrr Okay, said enough, really enjoyed!!
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aww, thanks! I also thought it added an "oomph" to it lol. I'm glad you liked it, and it's non-fictional, happy me! lol, it sucks.
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It does have a kick to it!!, but Ashie is sweeeeepy! lol So, my comment was a bit on the lame side! Sorry! I still looooooooooove it!
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oh, i meant that it was true.lol. idk the differance between fictional and nonfictional, so im not sure which one it is. lolol
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Nope, I be the moron here! lol Fiction is make believe. So now that puts a bit of a different spin on this one! But still....grrrrr!!
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haha, u should get some sleep, lolol.
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