Go to the gardens
to beg pardon,
heal scars
To see stars
in the eyes
of butterflies
For amnesty,
to be blessed
for eternity.
Author notes
allamanda
In a list
A contest entry
- search by CarCrashHumor.
800 points, ended August 1, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Simple, powerful and wonderful. I like reading your poems. They're unique.
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Thank you
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Quaint.
My first impression is this is unique. Such a lot said in such few words. Emotionally I can see the garden and the butterflies, and can understand wht yoy would go there to be blessed. There is nothing to be changed in this poem and it is not awkward. My favorite part is the phrase "To see stars in the eyes of butterflies" The title is perfect for this , and the first line sets the tone very well. The last line concludes this the best way possible. I liked it very much.
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Thank you very much for your thoughful comments.
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very nice
You are a minimalist with words, and yet somehow mangage a rhyme scheme - one that makes sense! I liked this one even more than the last one I read. You create such images (photographic really) with so few words. Very well written!
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pretty style of writing and flow.
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This is really beautiful. You say so much in so few words. I like the rhyming scheme, too. It makes it sound right, without being too intrusive, if that makes any sense. Mmm, "...stars in the eyes of butterflies..." what a gorgeous image. Stunning! Congrats on a wonderful write!
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