Lost my Everything

i log online, and i see thoes words...."i love you"
but there finished off with somthing i dont reconize...Krissy.
who is Krissy? i knew about Sarah, and Diana...but who is she?
i see that name and my throat clenches,
heat runs up and down my spine and the hairs bristle on my neck.
i feel like my world is slipping from me.
like I'm worthless...like I'm losing my everything.
will you come back to me this time like always?
do i want you back or are you just using me?
fact is ill allwayswant you back, but its more if i can.
my throat feels tight, and theres a lump in it.
my arms feel heavy, and my legs feel like jello.
i feel like all of this is a bad dream, like im in an alternate reality.
it all feels so surreal. i feel so numb, i cant even cry.
i feel the tears heating behind my eyelids,
like they want to fall down my cheek but they cant...they wont.
i feel like I'm dead, or that i want to die.
how could you do this to me after all i've done for you.

i had a dream, i think it was sunday, maybe tuesday.
that you were dating this new chick, she sounded and acted like sarah,
you even called her that, but i knew it wasnt her
it didnt look like her at all...
and you started dating her, and i got upset,
and you told me it was ok, that you were dating to prove to yourself,
that you needed me, that you wanted me, but that you heart was confusing you
cause it loved sarah cause she was your first girlfriend,
and you love me cause you thought i was the one,
but you waned to date someone to prove to yourself i was important,
not just another sarah, because you truly loved me...
then you started to cry...in a way ivenever actually seen you cry.
and it broke my heart, i never want to see you cry like that.
then you cuddled in to me, under my arm, like a child.
ad i was overcome with such a strong feling of love, compassion.
then you kissed me,
and promsed you'd be back to me, you just needed to d this for you,
to prove to yourself that i was the one you wanted to be with.
then you showed me an engagemnt ring, for me, after this whole thing was done,
after your dating this chick, you said you'de purposed
after we were back together for a while.

then i woke up, with a realy weird feeling.
like i was betrayed, but hopefull...
i dont know what it ment.