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My Darkness

My Darkness
A poem by Stella Lee

A deep, dark pain bornes within me.
An aching, a longing, some feeling--
A something which I cannot ignore.
It grows bigger and deeper,
That little black hole of despair.
Warping my outlook of life,
Loneliness grips me
And my dark Solitude corners me.

With a jolt, I realize
The darkness within my heart.
But it's too late.
It mocks me
As I try to claw my way out.
Deeper in the night,
I'm losing my way from the light.
And without any hope,
I slowly let go...
As my darkness takes over.

Author notes

Option 1 in Dreams27's contest
For xandercheerios's contest: The theme is... About my views... How I'm feeling... I have a feeling most of them are going to be dark... Perhaps I can pull off a brighter one for the finale... xD

[[killer2loner]]

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Northern Raven
    July 22, 2007

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    I think the author of this poem expresses a deep sense of loss a person can feel when loneliness takes over a life, how that feelings grows and can taint their outlook, possibly how others view them in return. It also expresses the realisation that though they are able to view what’s happening, they feel powerless to change it even though they appear to have the determination to try, and thus they fall deeper within the feelings of isolation and pain. I think the best lines in this poem are “That little black hole of despair. / Warping my outlook of life” and “It mocks me / As I try to claw my way out.” The poem doesn’t contain much imagery and I personally feel that though it depicts dark feelings they could be expanded on and reinforced with more imagery or some descriptive adjectives. In the first line “bornes” should be burns.

    Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry! Your work may also be viewed by other Raven judges.

    Northern Raven

  • wendymolly
    June 25, 2007

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    I have been cornered by my very own solitude and soooo much in my life, that i regret it as the years have shown themselves past me! This is definitely a very powerful provocatived piece you have written! and you are assuredly afinalist! ! take care!
    -hippie


  • xandercheerios
    June 25, 2007

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    This is very morbid, I'll give you that! Surely you don't only write about darker views on life...? Good luck!


  • Erin200
    June 17, 2007

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    It's a great poem. I hope you're not feeling lonely anymore! Great job and keep writing!
    ^_-

    ~sakura~


  • Dreams27
    June 16, 2007

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    aww, dont feel lonely!!...ah what the hell..i feel lonely too!! ah well, i like this poem...its well expressed and flows with your emotions! thanks for entering!! and thanks for putting the option in the box....so many people have ignored that...its really annoying so thanks!! bonus points for you! !! take care, Sam (Dreams27) xxxx


    • Kikuneechan
      June 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much! haha... I think it is a very simple rule to follow.

1 - 6 of 6