I saw her across the room,
her hair tied up in a perfect ponytail
made me forget what dress she was wearing.
Wishful hands clasped
with the desire to trace the curves of her head,
to stroke softly her Cupid's bow shaped lip
in an attempt to feel her affection.
All my senses between muscles and bones,
longed to caress her wide-open eyes
where sincerity is reflected
I stood there, in the middle of a cacophony
of strange voices, dreaming to kiss her temples
as if they were a pair of perfect breasts -
and be immersed into her spirituality.
She moved to reach for her coat,
a sudden break to my fantasies.
As she left, I realized
it was the convexity above her neck
I wanted to touch the most,
to unveil the needs she kept inside.
Author notes
Phrenology, not only the bumps on the head, but the shape of eyes and lips might reveal your secrets.
Shapes of head, revealing personality
A contest entry
- Phrenology: the language of bumps by macandrew.
400 points, ended June 25, 2007, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Celticmoon's and Leander's glue a trophy on my Prewrite by leander.
800 points, ended March 27, 2008, 74 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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so here, i have a chance to simply enjoy your words and your talent, an abstract theme in background, and the voice you bring is natural and engaging; like seeing through the eyes of another here and realizing special moments; you are a wonderful writer....thank you...h
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Innocence and energy captured in your words, as the image captured your heart's eye. Lovely.
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Captivating! This lulled me right in, I adore the image in the first stanza. I've a great thing for the neck myself so the closing is totally excellent to me.
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Ooh, mysterious poem this is... and expresses quite the lesbian side of you if you ask me
no, to be serious: I can not believe I missed this one
but maybe it has a positive side to it, since you could enter it into this contest
You have captured many different aspects here - metaphorically and symbolically - and how I love that.
thank you for this entry!
Leander -
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My lesbian side lol oh boy
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This is one of those pieces that I can clearly see all that is being said. I can even hear the thoughts that are passing through the mind. I love the feeel of this one as well. It's has a timeless feel to it. the desire to want to touch and kiss soene but only ever able to view from afar.
Thank you for entering!
Best of luck to you!
Blessing
Bel
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I'm not sure if romantic, is quite the word I'm looking for, more nostalgically sensual, if that makes any sense, lol.
I think, perhaps I should just say lovely penning, and leave it at that.
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ah the eyes, i could mention snow again where mine are concerned and holes in it lol - joking aside, a good piece, a good voice here leading the reader along
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lovely
wow! this is so so romantic -it takes your breathe away- very beautifully penned- could picture the entire scenario-lovely indeed!
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Cab you say travesty? I can.
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Interesting writing
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Interesting comment
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Interesting Reply
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A most pleasant read. I am not sure why but when I printed this the format came out slightly different.
After second and third reads this was much better than I had originally judged.
thanks for joining in.
John -
beautifully written
very very beautiful.
the words you chose were grand.
i really enjoyed reading your piece
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I think someone featured this poem, I normally don't get reviews of new readers. They are all appreciated nonetheless
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mmmm, romantic? In my eye it is, something missing, i don't know what. But i love it all the same. Great write. One of a kind. Keep it up.
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awesome poem written...This poem surely brings out the picture of a fantastic romance
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I liked the way you used "phrenology" in a "visual" sort of way. You saw and curiosity about the other person was aroused [so often we see someone during the course of the day] that for whatever reason attracts our attention and we would like to know more , even ALL about them. That is what I interprete this write to represent anyway. That is why I said you used it in a visual way , for I believe phrenology is usually done by feeling the bumps [bone structure I guess]. Best wishes in the contest,
reenie
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Wow...the word use in this poem is...remarkable. Eveything flows together perfectly, and helps me to paint a realistic, yet poetic picture in my mind. Lovely.
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Sometimes assuming to know too much can be a hindrance.
Better to know nothing preconceived,so that all will be based on actual observation while in the presence of the person. For there are always exceptions to the rules.
Maybe if person weren't so closed up from past hurt to begin with, they would be more willing to freely show their true sides, instead of having to use facades while checking out for the other persons real intentions...
wild hair and glasses
piercing stare and tight lipped
yet beauty, within
Hugs...Eddy
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Good to see people remember you, lol.
Ah my ponytail! But you forgot the nose.
You know I think this is a special poem, for many reasons having nothing to do with my own interest. The poem is both metaphorically/symbollically and literally meaningful. That search to know someone, that where real love enters, that wish to know them more than at a sexual level. At someone point in any mature thinkers life, sex simply isn't enough. You want to know that person inside and out, to love and be loved in every way imaginable. Is it possible, or is it just a romantic fantasy? Well that's the existential quest, the search, and I guess even if it is a Holy Grail, we've made the effort. But yes, I believe it's possible, for we create what we want and need, and I know two people born in the middle of July who both want that.
In some ways's it's an extension to something I wrote recently...what was it? That fellow who felt he'd never been understood...actually I've written more than one like that. Well yours is the answer to those, or at least proof of the quest.
I like the mixture of romanticism and intellectualism, the tone is romantic, "stroke softly her Cupid's bow shaped lip" yet there's far more to it, that makes it a thinking person's poem. It's not so much in any specific line but it their totality: the need, desire, urge, quest, passion and that final understanding of what it is that he has desired in her.
Having said all of that I bet she was a looker, lol. Brains or not we're all so shallow, lol Yes, that contradicts what I just wrote...sue me Madam!
I shall never look at your forehead the same way after today...you'll have to wear a burka after thus just to keep me calm! lol.
It's splendid Ms. MariGoes. -
I will be back later for a proper comment. I do want to say that I absolutely love this poem, that I think it's far deeper than people may realize, and that it, though unintentional on your part, fits how I think about this certain lady I know.
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