MY SPURS BOIL IN LOVE!
Slip in trip of my clue board strings
Of many springs in outer shrinks
Shaping dreams of my inter vein
Counting split of water rains
In train of veils bank in grain
She spill her lungs with oiled tone
Saving breath in winter clone
Of a love in hands like garden birds
Catch my eyes in alum spark
With smile that heals a pranking face
Telling light of wonders star
Caught in moon of sheltered clouds
Trees of wings dancing birds
In tone of echoed songs
Played in June to July leaves
Making grapes of love in bonds
There you are my morning rose
Shining bright in crystal walls
Build in trust that never fails
But stand in heart of his amazing grace
This my spurs boil in love
A tank hip of my raving soul
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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THis poem has a lot of interesting possibilities
There are so many truly lovely images in each line,
yet i felt you were missing just tender touches here
and there, to inspire our hearts to unravel and hear
the message of your poem.
I truly enjoyed when you did share some emotion;
There you are my morning rose,
shining bright in crystal walls,
Built (not build) in trust that never fails
But stand in heart of his amazing grace.
a father creator's love..who is his?
So many lovely metaphors and images, add your voice
and heart to this poem!
It is a keeper worth working on, and be sure and
send the link i want to read each word!
ears/Seattle.
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Enigmatic
Hello there.
What an enigmatic poem this is. It's difficult for me to understand what your lines and images mean. Is that important? Maybe or maybe not.
Maybe this is a jargon that I know nothing about:
Slip in trip of my clue board strings
It reads to me like a computer-generated poem. But once again I may be wrong. Forgive me if I am, but these just seem like random words in random lines. I'd be interested to know just how you wrote this poem, as it does have a touch of magic about it.
Have an awesome day,
BJ.
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great
i forgot to give you points, my bad, here you are
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This is a very deep poem, I really can't wait to read more,,
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wow ok i really liked this it was full of emotion great rhyming it has a very nice flow you have talent this had grace and beauty i enjoyed reading this its the best i have read in along time i really look forward to reading more by you always keep it flowing and never let the ink run dry and i loved the title it goes very well with this poem well done well done such talent
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