Upon their isle they lay in wait
Their voices singing of sweet sorrows,
Wavering on the misted ocean breeze
Entrancing young sailors,
And casting them to their knees
Pulling them closer to their final fate.
Their melodies entwine with the water's slow tides,
Touching upon the moon and skies
And upon the ears of the unwary,
Binding the soul of the sailor's heart
An angelic chorus singing of lies
Masking the hatred the music hides.
Waves crash upon the rocky shores,
Embracing the foolish who passed their waters
Reaping the souls of those who travelled
Those who heard the song, and sought the secret
Believing the mystery could be unraveled.
The mystery to doom those who would explore.
Beware, sailor, beware
For if you sail those deadly seas
Listen not to the songs
Steer clear of their isle
For if you fail, you shall be gone
Doomed to die in the siren's lair.
Author notes
Yay! Finally one that I like, it seems like I require some measure of angst to actually make anything I consider pretty decent! ^_^
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
reminds me of the disclaimer upon this planet...
w a joy ride upon a cloud
-Jas
-
wow, this was fantastic. I loved the story, the flow, the words you choose. This was truly a joy to read. Kudos!
-
I really enjoyed reading this my favourite lines are Touching upon the moon and skies And upon the ears of the unwary a clever twist to the image.
Well done! -
I like it well written. Something I've been meaning to write for a while but there is no need for it eh?
If you want to, listen to Song to the Sirens by John Frusciante. I like one stanza he wrote alot, but the rest of yours is better!
Wavering on the misted ocean breeze
Is an awesome line, well done kudos yo you -
You blew me away, yet again!!! I love how you wrote the myth of the sirens here. Your work is amazing! ^^
Always,
Cassie
-
I loved this. The idea was creative and it was written very well. Keep writing!
-
It was good and noticed the 6 line stanzas. The only part that is a bit bumpy is the very last stanza. Bumpy not bad. It was a good read. Keep writing.
-AtiVan
-
sings like a song, reads like a book
voyages traveled, sailing men took
rudolf
-
epic and beautiful
a very well-written tale...the flow is just incredible and the entire poem delivers! -
This was really interesting. A lot of people seem to forget that the siren's songs are supposed to sound pretty. You fixed the problem, for one. What appeals to me most is the subject matter, and the famous myth from which it was inspired.
The only thing that I would say did not do you well is the general flow of the poem. It seemed choppy and a little broken, especially between the third and fourth stanzas.
Anyhoo, that's all.
-
This is wonderful and I have to say, I appreciate the accuracy. Wonderful imagery that captivates the reader and just all around, a wonderful tale. Second and third stanzas were my favorites, really mind catching and always my favorite part of siren stories. Well penned.
-
Wow that is pretty good I like that stanzas such as Waves crash upon the rocky shores,
Embracing the foolish who passed their waters
Reaping the souls of those who travelled
Those who heard the song, and sought the secret
Believing the mystery could be unraveled.
The mystery to doom those who would explore.
actually looked that it took a long time to construct a bigger picture of yourself. Good Job indeed.
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
