un
ador(e)
(n)
ed
simply flagellate
bruisebreakbatterskin
purification of s(k)in
arbitrating truth
of holiness
ador(ed by all)
ned
Author notes
I guess I was just trying to play around with E.E. Cummings' style of splitting words. I don't know if it worked or not.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Clever
This is so clever. I didnt realize until I was nearly done typing this that the other person who read this called it clever as well. I guess clever is the perfect word for this piece of art you've created. I think my favorite part of it is the line with "s(k)in"--thats amazing, Ross!
It's got the E.E. Cummings style, but some of his poems got on my nerves a bit (maybe it's the generation gaps between he and I, or maybe its just because some of the things he wrote are too strange and forlorn for me to really connect to, either way...this is better). This is easier to connect with--it's got a personal element, but also has openings, little places where the reader can fit their own ideas and feelings in. I think great poetry can incorporate other's emotions as well as the writer's (which is why yours IS so great--you do just that).
The "bruisebreakbatterskin" makes me think of those dirtypretty poems, but not in a bad way. You've used these words to form a chain and instead of making an angsty, flashy fad poem, you've made something much more. Picking and choosing and not overdoing it--you've always been very good at that. A little bit of the image you've created ripples in the words and the way they connect to make an event out of the line, but it's not overwhelming and fake feeling and too angsty to be anything real.
Short, but you seem to be able to do a lot with short poems. Absolutely fabulous.
Thats what makes you one of my favorite poets (but shh, dont tell the others =P)
~blessings~
~rora
-
-
Okay, first, I've gotta pose a question. What the fuck is dirtypretty? I keep hearing the term, but I have no damn clue what it is!
Second, thanks! It's good to know my strengths so that I can attempt to accentuate them in what I write. Something I've learned is that the more personal a piece is, the easier it will be for others to relate to; that goes against logic, but emotionally it shows true. Vagueness helps to reassure that the connection can exist, and I always try to leave some of that.
Yeah, some of Cummings can get a little frustrating, but god I admire his love poetry, his erotic poetry. So tasteful, so brilliant. He's one of my heroes of writing.
I phrased "bruisebreakbatter" and that whole stanza as I did to create a sort of dissonant rhythm that I really like the feeling of in this piece. For once I actually constructed a rhythm intentionally! Maybe I'm starting to get ahold of that stuff.
The one thing I don't like about this piece is that I have no idea how I'd read it aloud... -
-
About reading it out loud...some poetry just isnt really meant to be read aloud. Some is meant to unfold in the reader's head. Some is the total opposite, but I really like the effect this particular one has on the mind.
I can see how itd be frusterating though. I like to read mine aloud sometimes, just to see how it would flow. Good luck figuring it out! -
dirtypretty is the new "fad" way of writing poetry. It's taking ugly things and making them pretty--like rape, or a girl crying, or something.
It's emo angst taken to the next level, its completely out of control, and it's just...tasteless.
Take a look around the site and try to find some dirtypretty, I dont think you'll like it very much =P
-
-
-
Coolness
Ross, I love it, its clever! I will have to read some of E.E. Cummings work to see your inspiration. Have you ever heard of Barbra Hamby I just got her book of poems called Bable and I am in love with her poem called Run. It's not like this style but I do reccomend it. Anyhow, this piece is clever and I really like it! I hope to see more from you soon. Take care buddy.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
