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Escape Hatches

  Immense inner entanglements inside
Thoughts that linger on the mind incessantly
Wistful, imaginative, real and illusionary
Happy, sad, banned, tamed, shameful, and more
Taking me to places of precision, predicated pleasure
Presiding on the echoes of thought-wave patterns
Protruding pointless directions deliberately
Producing problematic repetitive reflexes unrefined

Where is an exit
Why no doors
Who's fooling who

Unnatural constraints
No answered complaints
Freedom, this ain't

I conspire to comply no longer; altitude adjustment
Must mentally manipulate maxed out boundaries
Baseless banters of benevolent bodaciousness
Preceding profitably prior permission prolonged
Predictably processing penalties privileged to pry
Promising private bliss fusing with other intersections
Interplay inspiring increased interactions instead
Now needing nothing more at the current moment

Relax in freedom's lair
Breathe, sing, dance
Life, love, romance 

Author notes

phantasmagoria \fan-taz-muh-GOR-ee-uh\, noun:
1. A shifting series or succession of things seen or imagined, as in a dream.
2. Any constantly changing scene.

In a list

A contest entry

Ever been here, or needed a vacation?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • lowercase prelude gold member
    August 18, 2008
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    Your word usage was fantastic
    Well penned


  • RatherImaginative silver member
    November 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks again for entering!

  • RatherImaginative silver member
    October 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    There is a pleasant chaos about this poem that fits your chosen word rather well. The general vibe I get is one of an individual having reached a crossroads of some sort, or perhaps a coming of age (so to speak). Your use of alliteration is quite good in spots (i.e. the first lines of stanzas 1 and 2) and a bit forced in others (lines 4,5 of stanza 2). The three-line sections make a nice contrast to the main stanzas. Thanks so much for entering my contest!


  • ellipsist
    October 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    so so so very many adjectives that describe the exact same thing... in some places, it seems that several synonyms appear in one line... I personally find it distracting... however, this is just my opinion, which you of course could feel free to disregard altogether...

    I thank you for the entry into my contest...

    • 2lullabyhaven
      October 31, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Yes, I am a rookie writer, for the moment, learning as I go.
      I'll keep trying, smile and thanks for your observationslol


  • heygoo
    September 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like the seemingly flawless flow from consonantal to vocalic. You seem to be mocking the very thing you are doing while deliberately doing it divinely.


    • 2lullabyhaven
      September 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Wow what a most lovely review, one I will cherish, thank you. lol


  • fierra
    June 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow! I love it. Full of imagery....Very deep poem...
    I like the flow of this piece and the alteration of the emotion...
    The 1st and the 4th stanza is quite intricate and very descriptive...
    I like what you did on the 2nd and 3rd stanza...it's short...give the reader to pause and take a breath...
    Love the last stanza...simple...
    G8 job with this poem!


  • fleur de lys
    June 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love this poem in all its intricacy, but especially love the simplicity of the last stanza:

    "Relax in freedom's lair
    Breathe, sing, dance
    Life, love, romance"

    Best wishes for the contest dear friend.

    Hugs and love,
    Petratani


  • individuality gold member
    June 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    an excellent opening stanza, the alliteration is rich and rolled in golden precision, i am enjoying the curl of the emotional dance from happy to sad with a quick step and smile. that wistful feeling is like a trail which follows movement.

    i like the short pause here with this second stanza, a place to catch one's breath while words whip warm ways into questions of who why where, all flip the air with grace.

    again here in the third stanza you move into a second pause whilst looking for freedom's angels; their wings will direct the flow of motion

    and in the fourth you take up the rhythm, the fast pace once again, breath inhaled to swirl through the language and grin. the skirts of up and down here, where emotions are twisted with ease into dark and light. current moments, put them ina bun and make a current bun

    and in the final stanza, the dance is relaxing, another breath and sigh conjures atmosphere from the hat removed with a bow.
    a good poem

    • 2lullabyhaven
      June 15, 2007

      Edit | Reply

      Ian Thank you

      Believe it or not, I have never gotten a review like this before, ever. This was elegant, it read like a poem in and of itself. Where do you keep these stored. They rock, wow.
      I am speechless...lol

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