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Feels like Purple and Orange

He tastes like I’d
Like to feel
He fucks like I’d
Like to talk
And it all sounds
Like a perfectly fingered
Cord tying my legs
Down with quarter-notes

Press the right attitude
Behind my eyes
Moan out the satisfaction
Rattling within your lungs

This buzz is wearing off
And it still makes sense
Still feels right
Against my inquisitive tongue

No shame
Simply fact

We’re all breathing
Someone else’s
Recycled exhale
We just don’t
All acknowledge the tree

The colors have lost their names
And the light changes
At every angle
But I don’t care
Anymore

“Concrete is suffocating
The Earth”
He told me,
So unaware
That he had just
Redefined beauty
Before my eyes

A contest entry

Ok, I tried to make it a little less vulgur

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • VirginiaDarling
    September 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this poem, very good and well written. Although when I got to the middle I must say I did'nt expect the middle to be about what it was about since the beginning was... well... about sex it sounded like, okay if any of what i said just made any since lol. I liked it and I thought it fit the contest topic perfectly.


  • Karen Layne
    September 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hmm...you know, I really really hate the word "cock"...it's just so...I don't know, harsh, uncompelling, vulgar. Sorry...I kind of got stuck at that word and can't get my mind past it....

  • Climbing2nothing
    September 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This buzz is wearing off
    And it still makes sense

    and so slight percentage you have to remain unaware, for to trick the muse in letting the fairies play is no easy fashion show way, the grain is deep and so is your tongue upon the lights in reincarnation, the secret being to find out who you were in as many lives as your twin powers can find, eye to eye entwine....

    anyheys you have quite the talent for the unknown..
    w fresh spring peaches -jas


  • quantumsurveyor
    September 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I can't quite decide if I love this or hate it! It sings out and has (in places) a seething subdued eroticism, elsewhere it is (forgive me) in your face. I think it must get a one handed clap.


    • InxomniaXpiral
      September 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      You DO rock!

      I find most comments a little too quick to hand out the candy, if you know what i mean. i really appreciate that your comment atleast made me pause and reread my poem and sincerely wonder, "hmmm, is this a bit too in your face???" My closest aunt is always telling me, "you're too much.", but i always chalked it up to her be such a conservative and Brown University finally breaking her. . . .

      I can't tell you how much i appreciate your honest thoughts. I'll keep your words in mind.

      lizbian


  • Je Suis Prete
    June 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely love it. Reminds me of how a friend used to write. Made me think a little too. Great piece.
    Sara

1 - 6 of 6