I loved you more
Than you'll ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
~ Lifehouse - "Blind"
- + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + - + -
You will learn from your mistakes.
Learn from my mistakes?
How the fuck will I learn from the mistake I keep making
over and over and over again?
Look at him.
Fall.
Let him break your heart
Like a precious china set.
Shatter yourself to pieces as your mind rips apart.
Inner Strength drugged to a fatal overdose of staring at his picture
and
Vital organs impaled and dragged
over a fire pit of stress
by the epitome of sadism:
Steak knives of self-deceit
that will carry a bloody piece of me
to each bastard that
breaks me down each time.
By lightning speed or snail pace
It bears no relevance.
Each one takes a piece of any pseudo-innocence
That once held me in place...at least for a little while.
[the price to pay
to fall]
The price to pay
For letting them take their tokens
They may know nothing of one another
But they’ve all snatched a shard of my heart...
....Shards that I wish could slash these men to
bloody chunks of flesh and broken bones.
Part of me dies
With each male I can finally
Release from my heart.
A victory in battling Time
A triumph of Emotional Strength
But always a loss in Spirit.
It was a failure from the start.
I look at him
Fall
Let him break my heart
Like a precious china set
and
Shatter myself to pieces as my mind rips apart.
In a list
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
Its harsh and a little morbid but GOOD. I like the line"How the fuck will I learn from the mistake I keep making over and over and over again?" I think everyone has asked themselves at least once or twice in life.
-
this is filled with so much emotion! i loved it!!!! thank you for entering and good luck!
~NineTailedFox -
This is a good piece as well. I have read several good pieces by you today. I would be intersted in getting your opinon on the two pieces I havce penned today. One is called Tag N Bag and the other is called Dying Slowly please do tell me what you think if you dont mind doing so =P
--Vox -
Love is such a horrible and wonderful thing. You have captured well the pain and trials we go through with these things. It seems that for some of us it never turns out right and continue to get our hearts broken and torn apart. Wonderful job on the poem, it was very strong and passionate.
-
Human life is a continuous thread which each of us spin to his own patterns, rich and complex in meaning. If you think you can or you think you can't do a thing, you are right. Intense thoughts flow here.
♥ Touchof1der -
I thought I should comment, as well. I understand. I myself wasn't one for meter so, I'm bad at judging things like that but as for wordplay thats something I enjoy. The allusions and the imagery I thought were great. I got the effect of a mind torn in two between past and hopeful the acheivements of future emotions. That's just my opinion.
-
The emotions here are strongly felt. You could really feel the brokenness of the spirit... Rhymes are good.
-
well i dont agree will predair - nothing is perfect, i hate that word - and no one should ever use it in my presence - but other than that- yes, this was a very well written poem i have to admit.. there were a few things that i wouldve changed, but i dont know what i wouldve put in thier place.. so its all good.. i likeded it
-
Perfect.
for now...thats all i can manage to say.
-
very morbid. Extremely. JUST HOW I LIKE IT! You are one of the most talented people I know that can right like this.
"Learn from my mistakes?
How the fuck will I learn from the mistake I keep making
over and over and over again?"
Dude I know how you feel, also those happen to be my favorite lines in this poem. But a lot of people in my life say this to me, one person in particular, and it drives me crazy. Sometimes [well for me], it's really hard to make the right decisions and to not make that same or different mistake.
But anyways, great poem. -
i know exactly where your comin from alex shit hurts!
keep writing
always rock on
§Becki§ -
I look at him
Fall
Let him break my heart
Like a precious china set
and
Shatter myself to pieces as my mind rips apart.
i love these lines.
all in all amazing poem lady V
there really isnt anything else to say other than amazing and stay strong babe! -
-
Thanks hun. I'm hanging in there.
-
-
that's good to hear!
-
-
-
Great
This poem is livid with emotions and vivid with imagery. I loved it... Another very good piece of yours. I also like the repetition within it... Not over done but tastefully placed... Are these lyrics, perhaps? Either way, I loved it... It's a great piece and looks to me like a potentially great contest piece... Hmmmm? Anyways, thanks for the read and keep up the excellent writes that you're producing!
Alex
-
i know
when you fall in love, no matter for how long, you leave a piece of yourself behind, you individuality dies, trust me i know the pain that you felt, everyone must go through it, but the thing is you gotta fight through the pain, no matter how much it hurts, dont look back, because once you look back it hurts 10 times worse! i still have a hole in my heart from my lost love, but the thing is, i accept that its there, and i am filling it the best i can. i hope you can fill those holes of yours, this was very good in capturing the anger of the moment
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
