three months to live

and so i stare at the screen and laugh, because, really, what else can i do?
i never could find the right thing to say.
so i guess it doesn't matter that a million perfect words are going through my head, because i'm ignoring them...and i'm smiling.
and i'm rubbing my thumb nail together, and i'm blushing, and i think i might cry alittle. and i'm still grinning.
and now the screen is blurring, cause i was right, i am crying.
so as tom delonge sings 'always' in that perfect voice, i just sigh and turn my face away from the screen, and in this moment, i'm just so happy. because even if i sleep through nine months out of the year, our three months to live is worth every empty hour.
it's all about jumping. forgetting everything that makes sense, ignoring that feeling in the pit of your stomach, that warning voice in the back of your head, and just letting yourself fall right off the edge of reason, and right into that darkness, that bliss.  
i'm ignoring every perfect word.... and i'm crying, and i'm smiling at you.
so if you smile too, i'll fall back into this mess with you