To meet the one who makes my insides melt
between the ticking time of now and then,
are constant wishes I should not have felt,
but go on dreaming them yet once again.
As sun revolves the day to dusk’s first glow,
the pictured face I see behind closed eyes,
the future I don’t dare to ever know,
but now at present has me hypnotized.
This moment framed on what I want to be:
the one who grows to love him evermore.
And opening my eyes I cannot see;
the face has vanished, as it has before.
As bedtime comes, I always will invite
These dreams I wish to dream throughout the night.
Author notes
The rhyme scheme for an English sonnet is: abab, cdcd, efef, gg and the form is to be written in iambic pentameter.
A contest entry
- Basically Anything! Come look! by lalaland024.
425 points, ended June 16, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Beautiful!
It's no wonder that you won a gold trophy with this. My nine year old son told me "sweet dreams" just last night before he went to bed. That's what got me when I was looking at the title of this piece. The stanza that really stands out to me is~
As sun revolves the day to dusk’s first glow,
the pictured face I see behind closed eyes,
the future I don’t dare to ever know,
but now at present has me hypnotized.
It's the "sweet dreams" that drown the nightmares that some of us have.
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EXACTLY!
Thanks SO much.
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the last two lines are pure awesomeness!!!!! ... and its so true!!! they make me sad.. and happy.. and they make me ache all at the same time... it just seems to be the time of day to think about all those things... and then want to dream of all of them...
so powerful
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wow... you got my feelings exactly! you are awesome!!! really... you ARE!!!!
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B U TI Ful
A lovely sonnet. I am so very pleased to see a gold trophy adorning this verse. Congratulations and thank you for writing such a lovely sonnet. I enjoyed this a great deal. ~Pamela
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thank you.
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Nice sonnet. The rhyming isn't forced which is i loved because that's not an easy thing to do. Great job and thanks for entering the contest!
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thank you so much... so glad you liked it.
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wow, i have been trying to write something like this for the last couple of months. this is fantastic, i really really liked it. awesome job!!
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thanks so much.
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that was sweet!!! i really liked the last two lines.. but for some reason... i didnt like the flow... but everyone else seemed to like it.. so perhaps.... i am wrong.. but not likely
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not a sonnet lover, are you? you are entitled to your opinion, even if it is wrong.
jk... any suggestions on helping the flow and keeping it with 10 syllables each line?
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oooo, very nice! great job on this sonnet! the flow and rhyme are perfect, i really like this one! =) its absolutely beautiful
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thank you
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Excellent
Oh my what a sonnet. So well done and great use of the form. Best of luck in the contest.
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Thank you.
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