I can scarcely believe it. That.......
haggard, decayed man, not a drop of life left
I wonder who he was;
just an empty shell, so still.
I barely find my breath,
clouded in confusion,
as if I am in two places at once.
All that I was in my prime;
he is still here.
Why can't you hear me?
Don't cry!
I'm still here!
I feel so alive, as if this
is where I was meant to be.
Lighter than air,
but, how can that be?
I heard them say it;
"He didn't make it."
I POPPED out of my body,
leaving the withered overcoat behind.
I felt like a decaying leaf,
floating away from an old oak tree.
The family I hold so dear,
kneeling down beside my former self,
wailing in entrenched sorrow;
fallen tears I can't brush away.
Screaming until my lungs give away,
frantic, to let them know
that I am so free;
lighter than air.
A tender voice, humming in my head;
Dad? I can hear you.
It's okay, son.
They will weep for a time,
but you will always be there for them,
because, that's what fathers do.
My dad, standing before me,
no longer the aged man he was,
engulfed in a brilliant radiance;
his soft smile, warm to the touch.
Speaking, ever so softly,
I've missed you so much, Dad.
How is that I can hear you this way?
You're in my head.
I have never left. I've been here all along;
I've been so proud of you, son.
Extending his luminous hand,
ushering me to come with him.
Walk with me.
A lifetime ago, you left us.
I was there that day,
bathed in nature's elegance,
when we gave you to
the wind and trees.
Off a towering bridge,
gliding on whispering waves,
into an eternal embrace.
Somehow, I know;
I must be in Heaven.
His strong hand, resting on my shoulder;
His tender voice, tossed on a breeze,
to the melody of the music,
coursing through his veins;
I can feel the hum of divine melody,
beneath my feet.
Encompassed in virtuous serenity,
through glistening meadows and swaying trees;
we stroll along paved white marble.
Hypnotized am I by the sheer elegance before me;
humbled to the very core.
I must be in Heaven.
Blissful commotion, just over the next rise,
so many familiar sounds,
I've not heard in years.
It's where I've longed to be.
It's just as I imagined;
I am Home again.
Author notes
Option #5 for Tarja's contest
How many of you can relate to the loss of a loved one? I think that most of you can. My dad spent two weeks in intensive care, following a brain aneurysm. The hardest thing for us to do was to have his respirator removed. My siblings and I felt that we needed to let him go. He was too far gone already, although he was only 55 when he died. Years of diabetes had taken a toll on him. We scattered my dad's ashes off a towering bridge, over a beautiful gorge. We marked the bridge, 41 rails out to the exact spot with some scratches on the steel.
I can imagine that my dad was met by every one of his loved ones that passed before him. This represents the blissful reunion that I believe we will have when my time comes. Whether that is fifty years from now, or even tomorrow, it doesn't really matter. He's always been with me, just as your loved ones are always with you. I do believe in God. I believe that life doesn't end at all with physical death. In fact, I believe it to be just the beginning.
A contest entry
- Anything About Having to Move On by Athena of Starlite.
445 points, ended June 27, 2007, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - When You Know its Wrong - But you Believe its Right (winner takes all) by Gypsy Rover.
1000 points, ended June 21, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Death of a loved one. by Jeni Fire.
445 points, ended June 26, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silver To Gold- For Trophys That Shine Members Only by Mercury Rising.
600 points, ended July 24, 2007, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In Loving Memory... by Angel Of Heaven99.
425 points, ended October 3, 2007, 27 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I know this is a little long, but I feel it needs to be to really capture my spiritual beliefs. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions.
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
-
First off congratulations on all the trophies on this one they are well deserved. Sorry for your loss as well. This was a very emotional poem Excellently written It is hard for us to take them off of life support and see them struggle for breath so heartbreaking, my real grandmother was on life support and she died two months after my adopted grandmother died. It was so good to finally meet her but I met her on her death bed. Which was sad. I always for some reason new as a child though that my adopted grandmother was not my real one and when i got older my mother told me I was bad and sometimes when I was mad at my a grandma i would use this It made her so mad, and hurt. But on the other had my grandfather He I knew for some reason was family and i learned he was really my great uncle in law. When he passes away i will be much sadder than the loss of my grandmother for we were so close. So rry for the rambling Now I sound like you hehe Excellent poem dear death is hard to fathom but we should know that they are in another place that is so grand and that they are finally at piece and are happy and looking forward to seeing us again
-
First off congrats on the gold and two silver trophies. This was such an emotional piece for me to read. I honestly have no idea how I would react to my father's death. I'm sure it will not be a positive feeling. I did not think this was too long...though I'm not a fan of free verse the message in the poem really touched me. Thank you for entering and good luck.
-
-
Thank you, Tarja.
Losing my parents was really tough. I was only 18 when my mom passed, and then I lost my dad three years later. I miss both of them a lot.
Don
-
-
I find this very touching and true. I believe that when our loved ones leave their bodies, they never leave us. We are their joy and their heaven. A writer Alison Dubois wrote a book called WE ARE THEIR HEAVEN, on that exact subject. Great job on this poem, it is truly brimming with tender love. Blessings, Doris
-
-
I LOVE THAT BOOK!
I just read that book a few months ago. I've also read NEVER KISS THEM GOODBYE. I watch the show, MEDIUM, all the time. Allison DuBois is truly a gifted lady. Don
-
-
This is so very beautiful..I have only seen two of my family members , but have felt others were around me..I smelled my grandmothers brand of cigarettes while driving to work one morning..it was so strong that I had to roll down the window..I then pulled over ..
Its so nice to have the peace of mind that comes after a visits..And often can be the best therapy ever..smiles..
I'm so happy that you have had such a remarkable experience and share it with your children..
Peace ,Many blessings
~A~
-
-
Thank you so much, Asdzaa.
It's truly a gift from God that you have experienced what you have. My wife smells her dad's brand of Lucky Strike cigarettes from time to time. He passed when my wife was 16. My wife, although she never met my dad, has had more than one dream of him in the past 11 years. I'm very glad that my dad was able to give me just a glimpse of what will happen when my time comes. Looking back to when we were in ICU with him, and he was in a coma, I know now that he was right there beside us, rather than in the hospital bed. At the time, I was so wrapped up with seeing so much of his own blood in an IV tube from the aneurysm. If you have ever read the book, Hello from Heaven, by Bill and Judy Guggenheim, it is one of the best books I have ever read. It's all about the documented studies by people who have had experiences with signs from their loved ones. Ten years ago, this was a taboo topic, but it's becoming far more accepted, now that more people are starting to listen to their kids, realizing that the reason we are so much more open as children, is because we are at a time in our lives when we have no reason to be skeptics; we see what's really there without a second thought. Those lucky enough to still be able to see their loved ones as adults are given an extraordinary gift. I'm so glad that the dreams that I have had in the past three or four years are not just dreams. My mom and dad have a unique way of saying "Hello."
-
-
this is very beautiful, and yes you misted my eyes...I know he is always with me, and you have written a beautful poem worthy off all the shine you have recieved...excellent, thank you for sharing~blessings~
-
-
You're quite welcome.
That mists my eyes whenever I read it, too.
-
-
Just beautiful, I am crying. You really hit the nail on the head with this one. God bless and thank you for sharing this calming peaceful piece with me.
-
May God bless you always! This was a very beautiful but sad tribute to your Father. I know our loved ones are always with us and that is comforting to know. I love the way you wrote this. It made me feel as though I was there watching you and your Father converse in this beautiful place we all know is Heaven. Thank you for using my contest to honor his memory.
-
Wow So Sad
Wow this is so sad and yet wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. My grandpa passed away after fighting Alzheimer's. He lived through World war 2, Vietnam, Desert storm. He fought in all three. I miss him greatly because I know that grandparents aren't supposed to have favorites but i was the first Grandchild and a tomboy to boot. My wonderful grandpa saved me from i don't know how many serious beatings because he seemed to find life funny even in the bad times. I love the way you portray the afterlife and watching the family grieve. This is truly powerful and I am sorry for your loss. I believe our special loved ones will always watch over us. My younger children never got to meet their grandfather but my oldest remembers him well. He says that he can still hear grandpa laughing at us up in heaven. My grandpa loved storms like I do and my mom hates them, so when it is really stormy outside and it thunders my son tells my mom that the thunder is grandpa laughing at her. I love the way children think.
-
Oh, you did comment on this one...
It's been a couple of months since I wrote it. Thank you, David. -
I believe I have commented on this wonderful poem already, so I'll just say briefly again that this piece was very touching and poignant and very well-crafted indeed. Best of luck in my contest.
David -
Touching
What perfect sentiments. I will read this at my fathers funeral when he passes.I really enjoyed the write and I would encourage you to write more. I wish I was a more educated man and could give you pointers, but the point is I see it as perfect. I am sorry for your loss, my father is 73 and every day I can call him and hear his voice. I will call tonight and tell him I love him. Bye love.
-
-
I would be honored, Jesse.
Thank you so much, Jesse. This poem is so personal to me. When your dad does pass, and you read this at his funeral, he will hear every word you say. I believe that with all my heart. I know that my dad is with me often since he passed sixteen years ago. I am so glad that my poem touched you like this. Your dad will appreciate so much you telling him you love him. I'm a father of two children, and I just love it when my kids say they love me. I don't plan on deleting your response. I want to hold on to this. It means a lot to me. I am going to print your kind comments.
-
-
This is such a touching and poignant poem I don't know what to say really, except that I am stunned you have only been writing for a few months. The images of heaven you have painted here are really wonderful, and the whole poem was just a tremendous loving tribute to your father. I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Best of luck in the contest.
David Michaels
-
-
Thank you so much, David.
This was the first poem I wrote. The original version was 20 lines, but didn't say half of what I wanted to say, since this is so personal to me. I originally submitted the earlier version to poetry.com three months ago, but was discouraged, since their site only allows poems no longer than 20 lines. I revised it recently to what I really wanted to get out the first time around. Then, I did a search on how to improve my poetry, and it said to join up with a poetry workshop. That led me to this wonderful site, and my writing has improved a great deal in three months.
In a few days, I'll be without the internet for a month or so. I'll try my best to write what I can in the meantime. My dad did so much to encourage me creatively when I was in my teens. Since he passed, I've gone from being a cartoonist to a poet. I am really proud of that. As much as I love to draw cartoons, poetry gives me something that funny cartoons doesn't, and I am loving every minute.
-
-
Perfect
I watched my dad walk down the garden after he had 'died'. That gave me so much comfort. It's been more than 25 years, but I have felt him about - just the scent of aftershave and coffee and the voice in my head that says - 'love you, you daft girl...'
This was, in no way, too long. It was perfect. xx
-
-
Thank you so much.
That's so nice that your dad sends you his love in such enduring ways. My son was only six when he saw my dad twelve years after he died. My son told me about it when he was seven, after he saw me looking at some photos of my dad.
He said, "He told me I'll always be with you. I also saw him in the backseat of Mom's car when we were going down that big hill to your work. He stayed with me until we got to the bottom." My son has always been afraid of heights. My dad was there for him, and I am so glad that he and his grandson got to meet him like that. It's what led to my healing.
-
-
Thank you so much.
That's one of the hardest poems I've ever written. My dad was 54 when we lost him. He was a country music singer, and he was singing at a local tavern with his band, when he was getting ready to go back on stage, and he had an aneurysm. He passed away two weeks later in intensive care. His respirator was removed on Fathers' Day, and he didn't stop breathing until shortly after midnight. I am so glad that he is always with me and my children. I can feel it whenever he's nearby. -
-
I just relate to all you have said. If we love people enough, they do us the favour of sending us comfort. I'd like that job. I may never meet my grandchildren in the flesh, I was an older mother!! But I will be watching them if at all possible, and trying to tell them to chill and step back and understand their parents' anxiety for them. MMMMM - they will tell me to eff off I expect - ghostie granny!!! xx big love xx
-
It's been a while since someone else's poem made me weep. But this, in the very best way, did. If I could applaud again I would. xx
-
-
Aww what a lovely tribute to your Dad
Im sure he would be very proud.
He is always with you.
Favorite lines are:
I've missed you so much, Dad.
How is that I can hear you this way?
You're in my head.
I have never left. I've been here all along;
I've been so proud of you, son.
Extending his luminous hand,
ushering me to come with him.
Walk with me.
Amazing
-
a glowing tribute to father ,a brave write , thank you for sharing it with us ,, peter
-
This is a wonderful poem. It shows a lot of emotion, but more importantly your love of your father and your belief in God and heaven.
JOB said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, And naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD." And Paul said: (I) would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.
-
-
Thank you very much.
I did some editing with this poem just now, so it's a little different. I'm thumbing through my thesaurus.
-
-
Beautiful emotion. Though your vocab is simple and you have a very loose form, your intense power shines.
-
-
Thank you very much.
I've done some editing to this poem this morning. I'm thumbing through my thesaurus. This poem is so important to me, so it's the toughest to write, that's for sure. -
Thank you very much for the kind critique.
I sure appreciate your comments, especially since I haven't been writing poetry for long. I'm going to work some more synonyms into this piece. I thank you for the advice.
-
-
Beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe a wee bit long, but so well said, the metaphors are original and very sensitiv.
I like it very much, a story and poem in one. Very spiritual.
-
This is an awesome write! I do agree with you we can all relate to this!!! I really enjoyed reading it! Thank you for sharing such a personal experiance!
-
-
Thank you so much, Malicai.
As difficult as that was to write, I really wanted to write it, so that I could share it with some grief support groups, and anyone who is struggling with a loss. I shared this with many people yesterday who are struggling so much with their grief. I wrote it with my heart, and I really believe that when my time comes, my dad and so many others I love will be right there to walk me Home again.
-
-
I have to admit this poem touched me so deeply I was in tears. It is so beautifully written. I can not see anything about it that would need to be changed. Yes, most of us can relate to the loss of a loved one. Both my parents were in their early 60s when they passed. I, too, believe they were saddened to see our grief. I prayed their suffering and pain had ended and they are together again - young, happy, and healthy - and in this wonderous and beautiful place called Heaven. They have many other family members with them and I will be with them again someday also for eternity. Just as we were so long ago. In your author notes you mention a bridge. There is a bridge near our hometown my father helped build that has initials carved in it. We pass this bridge many times thoughout the summer when we go to our favorite lakes. It is comforting to see it.
-
-
Somehow, I missed this comment back in June.
This could have been when my computer was down for a little while in June. Your reply brought to tears to my eyes, Cindy. I am so glad this very personal poem touched you so deeply. I could barely contain my own tears when I was writing it. I will never be able to read it all the way through without gushing a waterfall. I am so glad that there is a bridge that your father helped to build. It's so wonderful to hear that he helped to create something that will, undoubtedly, stand for years to come. Thank you!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 36 of 36
