I cleaned out all the closets,
set fire to all your suits.
My neighbors thought I'd lost it,
when I buried your favorite boots!
I buried them upside down,
but the soles, I left them free.
Then scribed upon a rock,
"My husband that used to be."
I invited all your friends,
and called your family.
Your memory I wanted to send,
away so happily.
Many attended your wake,
the day I buried you.
We cooked down by the lake,
in remembrance of a fool.
Now when I let your dog out,
I often think of you.
His most favorite place to crap,
is on the soles of your old boots!
In a list
A contest entry
- How To Avoid Thinking of Someone by pointlessdayz.
1750 points, ended August 2, 2007, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You're a heartbreaker by flyingphoenix.
475 points, ended June 11, 2008, 70 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Nice. It's good to see some humor regarding this subject. That sounds like a good revenge plan.
There is a nice flow to the poem, which never really felt forced.
I really like the last verse, it's so silly but changes the feel of the poem quite a lot.
Great write, thanks for entering!!
Sunny
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Originality: 20
This was one of the most original pieces I've seen in a long time!
Voice: 20
Do I sense a kernel of truth in this piece?
Very strong voice!
Proper Grammar and Spelling: 20
Didnt see any mistakes!
First Impression: 7
Now, this is where I have to be truly honest; I really do not like rhyming pieces. I dont know what it is about them, but they tend to get on my nerves. So...
Effectiveness: 10
This piece was funny and light hearted and really got the point across.
Comprehensibility: 20
There was nothing to take away from my understanding of this piece, so I really dont have anything to say for this section of my comment.
Total: 97 -
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Shocked by the Bronze!
Thank you!, when I read your comments that rhyming gets on your nerves, I had no idea that this piece would even place, so, thanks again
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HAHA I love it! This was very clever, made me laugh. I especially like the end with the dog crap lol too funny. Just what I needed. Great job :-) and good luck
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LOL ~ oh this is clever and funny~ I loved how you went about this~ AWESOME Job! Good luck in the contest~
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Ha! This actually made me laugh out loud! Not exactly what I was expecting when I first opened this, I'll admit. I love your way of writing. Great job and good luck in the contest!
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thanks,
for your comments, as I've just re-read this piece, and had a laugh myself, as I thought of my ex-husband...the fool,
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