My granny a woman of wisdom,
she always spoke the truth.
The many things she taught me,
still linger from my youth.
Always do what's right,
her philosophy of life.
Keep your legs closed tight,
until you are a wife.
These standards I did live by,
but I have to tell this tale.
This story about my husband,
I remember it very well.
My dates were always chaperoned,
and only two nights a week.
Very few times were we left alone,
my granny always peeped.
My dates were allowed to visit,
but only at my home.
I was seventeen years old,
before I could date alone.
His curfew was 11 o'clock,
and not one minute late.
So,I walked him to the door this night,
oh, what a big mistake!
I kissed him on the lips,
like so many times before.
I said goodnight and love you,
and began to close the door.
But something was in his pocket,
so big, it caught my eye.
He refused to let me see it,
so I began to cry.
My granny to my rescue,
'cause she heard my humble plea.
She aked him what was hidden there,
he said,"nothing but my keys!"
I persisted with my questions,
for I knew this was a lie.
He just turned and ran away,
not even saying bye.
I gave him back his ring,
the very next day at school.
For I refused to date,
this lieing little fool.
It wasn't very long,
that I received a call.
He said he would explain,
and told me I was wrong.
Gladly I confronted him,
after school one day.
Eager, I was to hear,
just what he had to say.
He stumbled on his words,
but finally explained.
What was hidden in his pocket...
was just his swollen thang!
Finally we were married,
and then he let me see.
What he'd hidden in his pocket...
was his wedding gift to me!
Author notes
True story, innocently dumb!
In a list
A contest entry
- NO DELICATE SENSIBILITIES * ADULTS ONLY by delightfulmess.
450 points, ended June 21, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Humor by C.I.M.A Punk.
500 points, ended January 5, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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another great write , funny to
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very nice
i like this write alot -
This was a very funny poem. Glad you waited till your wedding day for the best gift of all. Granny was right and you listened well. Well written.
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Good humor
Nice work here. I can relate to the over worried grandmother. The punchline was surprising.
Well done and good luck.
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I had to come back to this
Iv'e read many poetic stories.
But I have to say this Is one of the best Iv'e read In a long time.
It truely made me smile
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thank you,
I had forgotten about this one, it was nice to visit it again, and reflect
, again. Thank you for your wonderful comments
Sincerely,
Sassy
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Very witty and clever.
With a lesson to be learned.
I can't pin point what stanza is my favorite.
Cuz I loved the entired piece.
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Such a wonderful wedding gift and their only packaged one to a bride or at least they should be. Well done Sassy enjoyed reading very much many blessings to you and your family.
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This is good
I like this as much as the first one. Well done
Terry
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You Know You Are most certainly
my favorite I havent stopped by and checked you out in a while but you had me LMAO like the contest required i honestly think you should go to the finalist list dear i enjoyed this story you were great as always. hugs
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thank you,
glad you enjoyed one of my most embarassing moments, oh how I wish I was still that innocent and naieve, life was so simple then and I didn't even know it
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OMG LMAO. That is a great story thank you for sharing something so personal.
This was a wonderful addition to my contest.
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