Tattoos etched into my coffin,
As I lay here waiting
For the nightmares to numb my pain
As my body starts its’ shaking.
The pills were meant to help
And make my battered soul heal.
The toxic addictions didn’t go away
As metallic silver kisses made my death real.
Lost and unloved,
I couldn’t deal with your abuse
So I dreamt of scattered hopes
Screaming as you gave excuse after excuse.
Butterflies and rainbows
Entered into my dreams,
As the cocaine, vodka and hollow pain
Consumed my life in broken screams.
Unwanted and filled with hatred
You sought to punish me.
You filled me with prescriptions of morphine
Until I was so broken I couldn’t see.
Ruby lies fell from your mouth
As my bleeding blade became your alibi.
Shattered by my bruised body
Howling for someone to hear me cry.
You sat in your pretty prism cell
Binge drinking and fearful
Of the metal hearts that await you
Yet over their eyes you pulled that wool.
My death was for nothing.
I’m as worthless now as I was before
As I rest under this cross, in this graveyard
My glitter filled soul leaves this shore.
Author notes
Well then. i hope this entry is ok. you seem to have already picked out your winners but i thought i would add this one in anyway.
the words i used in the word bank are --- Morphine
Lies
Vodka
Cocaine
Screaming
Bleeding
Drinking
Lost
Unloved
Unwanted
Abused {Abuse, eg.}
Waiting
Shattered
Hopes
Dreams
Glitter
Ruby
Metallic
Rainbows
Butterflies
Nightmares
Perscription
Pills
Scattered
Silver
Blade
Broken
Bruised
Battered
Scared
Nothing
Worthless
Tattoos
Kisses
Toxic
Addiction {Addicted, eg.}
Metal
Numb
Consumed
Coffin
Hatred
Pain
Hollow
Cross
Graveyard
And thats everyword, (just so you know).
Obviosly i took the word bank option and ect ect ect.
Good luck judging the contest and i hope this entry isnt too late..
Claire-Anne
"My best dark write for a dark birthday" hope this poem is better. She's one of my favorites. Sorry about the mix up before
A contest entry
- 203;203;203;203;203;203;​​;​;&#& by WhatLiesBeneath.
690 points, ended July 15, 2007, 52 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - INVITE FOR MY FAVOURITES-ROUND TWO by AliceinPoetryLand.
1800 points, ended July 15, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - INVITE ONLY by AliceinPoetryLand.
1800 points, ended July 20, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Invite Only! #2 by AliceinPoetryLand.
1800 points, ended July 21, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - August 10th 1992 by CassidyEngle.
310 points, ended August 11, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Your Favorite Prewrite" by Virgoan.
500 points, ended September 3, 2007, 103 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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Lost and unloved,
I couldn’t deal with your abuse
So I dreamt of scattered hopes
Screaming as you gave excuse after excuse.
God I know how this is. You've done a great job putting into words and making it easy to understand. Your a great writer! Keep up the good work! -
"Butterflies and rainbows
Entered into my dreams,
As the cocaine, vodka and hollow pain
Consumed my life in broken screams."
Oh wow, have I been there!
This poem is incredibly touching and, although the subject is quite dark, it speaks straight to the heart.
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Wow, thanks for the comment, first comment this ones had in months. Anywho - its interesting to note that mostly everyone thinks that stanza is the best and most lovable. interesting isn't it.
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i like it claire- anne its good but in a twisted way it is also beautiful! good work hun!
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perfect
i loved it it gos good
and you no how to right
xx
i give u clapy men
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Wow.
Wow.
&wow again.
You've proven -again- to be amazing with words. Descriptive, flowing, and with a rhyme scheme that doesn't seem at all forced.
You might want to check out some of my stuff from other than whats been written today...my last 4 poems are all results of/responses to my boyfriend and I being tense over the past days. (i'd write...he'd write...i'd call...&on it went in poetic x madness.) ;]
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3658796 You may enjoy this one.
♥shinE* -
This is amazing Claire-Anne. It's beautiful, dark and well written. You did wonders with the word bank.
I'm gonna keep this one on my pc, lol
Keep up this amazing work!
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I still love this!!
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Gripping!!!
This is a shocking poem! very original and very sad. good combination!!!
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Wow, that was an amazing write. I was drawn in instantly, as to this I can relate, there was alot of images that popped in my head from certain moments in my life that hit me, when I read your poem, and usually nothing except something really special can do that... This really is a good poem, keep it up!
*KeV*
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Ohhh I like. I was drawn in by the very first line. You're dark style is exactly how I roll. You add some very strange images. A mouth full of rubies and such. I like your originality and I honestly think you are very talented. I loved the line about vodka. (One alchy to another. jk But seriously this was great. Keep it up.
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As metallic silver kisses made my death real - cool line!
Love the expression and the angst exemplied here.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing my friend.
>>>VIRGOAN
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the imagery had me glued, i like dark writes, but prefer ones that describe everything in detail, makes it more real.
And even using the words in the bank you still managed to find a flavor and rip it open laying the poem bare, emotions running rampart, tapestries painted in blood, anguish sorrow raw and real, excellent poem and dam well written.
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perfect
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Awww. thank you.
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(=
Your imagery is most dark and forlorn, tethering on the brinks of insanity and beyond. Oh... How i love it. (= This one is really good, its conclusion reiterating the idea of worthless and death and murder by hateful sorrow, while its body swells with bitterness and addictions to pains, lies and drugs.
(=. Yep and it had my attention from the start to the end. Oh ya, (= i also noticed that every other line rhymes too. (=
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LOl, thank you. hopefully the clarification helped clear up and uncertainties. thanks for commenting.
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wow
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fuck yeah, i love this
this has it all raw emotion wonderfull flow, poetic language at its best, this for me is your bets piece loved this in fact i loved it so much im going to give 6 lil yellow things
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I'm glad that I didn't end this contest before you entered this poem. I enjoyed reading it as it was a smooth read it you set it out so it was easy to read. It flowed well and I loved how you used all of the wordbank. I may of picked my winners allready, but I think I'll add you too. I really did love this poem, it is probably one of my favourite poems that I have ever read here on AP. Thanks very much for entering.
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Omg, Thank you so much for the bronze. lol, and im glad you got your computer up and running again, i was getting a bit paranoid having to wait for this contest to a) end and then
be judged. lol.
thanks for the bronze- hope your computer doesnt die on you anymore.
Claire-Anne
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Wow what an amazing use of the wordbank A very deep and complicated write, but just wonderful! You have such dark emotion written into this and your imagery and metaphors are excellent!
I am gald you entered this for me to read. I think it's one of the best I have read of yours
Wonderful!
Gaylene
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awesome
this is the type poem i prefer to read as they are all so thought out even if you dont think about them because it is something that you can feel whether you are the one writing it or the one reading it it has feeling but i do not feel pain when i read this i only feel guilt
either way it is a great write and i love the flow and feel of it. -
Very Dark
Wow this was indeed a very dark write. I love the words that tou have etched in this piece,
This is my favorite stanza:
Butterflies and rainbows
Entered into my dreams,
As the cocaine, vodka and hollow pain
Consumed my life in broken screams.
Well done on a fantastic write.
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Wow!
Okay you officially win the award of the deeply darkest poem I have reads tonight haha! Very well penned sis and I mean very well penned. I am extremely amazed at how deep this poem how incredibley detailed the poek was ands how awesomely graphic this poem is. very nice work all round and I just bloody ove this poem. any ways most ingenius poem sis and best of luck in the contest 
Bro
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"Butterflies and rainbows
Entered into my dreams,
As the cocaine, vodka and hollow pain
Consumed my life in broken screams,"
That has to be my favorite part. This entire thing was powerful. You know you've written great words when they stab at the reader's heart, and the reader can't get the poem out of their head. Brilliant piece.
Yeah, I was interested, and decided I'd take a look at your poetry. I haven't been disappointed.
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Lol. thanks.. i think its kinda scary that my authors notes are about as long as my poem!!! it took me ages to write that though. hehehe. i dont know why but i really wanted to put in every word in the word bank/ hehehe/ thanks for commenting!!1
Claire-Anne -
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Lol, I know how that is, when it takes forever. And that word bank is quite a lengthy one. Lol.
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Very sad, Raven. I checked out the contest you entered and I didn't enter because the word bank and stuff were overwhelming to me. My muse just wouldn't come up with diddly. lol You have written a wonderful entry here. Good luck to you in the contest.
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Wow this is sad and very effective ! such descriptive imagery..it gave me goose bumps..good luck in the contest.
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very deep
awsome
love the best
Ruby lies fell from your mouth
As my bleeding blade became your alibi.
Shattered by my bruised body
Howling for someone to hear me cry.
lov ya -
good
i like it..pretty deep...good work =] -
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You do? ohh good.. so it flows ok and everything? thats the main thing that im worried about
Claire-Anne
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