He’s thrusting into me, tearing me apart
With his teeth and his knife and his dick.
It feels so sublime, so right,
To be mutilated in this heaven-hole.
I can’t see him clearly.
His body is an insubstantial mist
That sporadically produces
A glint of metal,
A hint of cock,
A scent of feral beast and blood.
As he pierces my eye with his weapon,
Removing the eyeball in order to
Finger another orifice,
I sigh contentedly, pleasurably enjoying
This nightmarish dream.
Author notes
Finger-fucking eye sockets....haha. Oh wait...yeah I'm likely going to hell for that one....damnit.
A contest entry
- CORE ADORE by soldiersoul.
600 points, ended June 26, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What would make it better?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I probaby sound the same as everybody else that's commented on this, but the last stanza was what did it - it seemed to round off the poem really well and the last two lines sent goosebumps up my spine (despite the fact that it was a horrific reason for the enjoyment) - lol - does that mean that I too will be going to hell because I enjoyed your poem?
Well done on a really good write - I did enjoy this one
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thanks for your comment. and we're probably all going to hell, i mean, we're oh so sinful and all.
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ahhahahahaa your author's comment made me laugh. I will see you in hell! we'll have a tea party... yea!
this is something different. very different. I don't think I've ever read about someone taking out another person's eyeball to finger them here.
oooooo this made me just think of a joke I heard about a prostitute that could sing while giving a blowjob [she had a glass eye]
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wait, did the prostitute sing through her eye or her mouth? wait, is it possible to sing through an eye socket? because you can kind of hum through your nose...
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she sang through her mouth and gave a blow job through her eye socket.
I told that to a few of my guy friends and they totally freaked out -
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I guess they weren't into fucking eye sockets. Of course, if I had a penis, I might think it a little weird to stick it in an eye socket, but still, come on, that's just funny to think about. I mean, imagine the possibilities...instead of row your boat it'd be "blow, blow, blow your load, gently into my brain...."
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UGH UGH UGH UGH SOCKET TO ME BABY lol...PENIS FOR YOUR THOUGHTS
lol...good job good luck...nothin like a good skullfuckin to start off the funeral
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That is a weird poem. I sat for a while staring at the screen, Disturbed, Dark, Weird but I really liked it. I loved the way it was so different and unexpected. Go you x
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Dam* u folks are nasty! But it made me laugh nonetheless ^O^ (that's me laughing by the way... nothing else i promise
)
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i don't know...it looks suspicious to me...
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