After your departure so many days have gone
Only in my earth time doesn't run
Seems I'm living in the state of absolute nothingness
where absolute abandonment captures my life's race.
Days have turned into months
And months in years have turn
Every desire I've tried to burn
I have even destroyed the lantern.
The gray mist is chasing me for ages
And seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face.
I've won over time's eternal race
No one knows that I still keep you alive in my nights and days.
Author notes
Option 3
A contest entry
- I hope you won't regret after clicking it... by Farha11.
350 points, ended July 9, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Enjoyed your interpretation of the Option 3 prompt; time goes by more quickly the older we get, and I like the title you used here - yesterday seems like a long time ago at times.
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Thanks for your kind words. Thanks a lot.
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Beautiful!
I like how you took the title and made it your own. Its a different kind of poem, and I think my favorite lines are:
"I've won over time's eternal race
No one knows that I still keep you alive in my nights and days."
I love that..."time's eternal race" that's amazing!
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This Captures Me!
Yes, this is a beautiful poem. You made good use of the given option/title from the song "Hurt". I like the middle stanza:
"Days have turned into months
And months in years have turn
Every desire I've tried to burn
I have destroyed the lantern."
But I think in last line of this stanza if you write "I have even destroyed the lantern", this will be more appealing. I think the 3rd line of the 1st stanza "Seems I'm living in the state absolute nothingness" is also missing something. It can be "Seems I'm living in the state of absolute nothingness". If you like you can fix those places. However, I really liked the way you ended your poem, this was full of emotion:
"I've won over time's eternal race
No one knows that I still keep you alive in my nights and days."
Thanks for your beautiful entry in my first contest and also thanks for following the rules properly. Please do not reply my comment until the contest is over. Wish you all the best in the contest.
Regards,
Tear Me Not
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i like this very much
kinda speaks to me in a strange way.
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