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Confusion first, then light

 

 

 Kindly refer to notes - Enjoy ! 

 

 


Before big bang rang changes whose range remains in flux
Electrons once were strangers to call of ‘fiat lux’.
Along came fission’s fusion, confusion first, then light
bequeathing mission’s clues upon delusion and delight.
This led to fate's conclusion, caused atoms to unite

the which, in turn, illusion lent Man - a sum mum quite !
From chaos sprung our meeting, a marriage of convenience,
the which our rhymes are sweeting so judge linked lines with lenience

When I was oxygenic and you two hydro genes
as dry as dust hygenic remained both Ways and Means,
as lonely and divided you me me_and_err_rings,
unknown were helix he licks, and protoplasmic strings.
Unknown were then amoebae, or cells life's spells now  bring,
et inconNUE toute idée fixe offrant la vie bling bling.
Ainsi la vie commença malgré le Kansas Board
as aeons spun, together run, provided bread and board.
Without our tryst few formal life forms on earth could ever
pursue existence ‘normal’, act silly or feel clever.

When I was young and ignorant unknown to hair twins hydro
few days were spent in versing chant, reversing carbohydro
none fought for life on food chain link, existence ungalactic
they were a simple pair I think, electrons unclimactic.
But now beneath, above, beyond it is our joy to bond -
[not James !] for our liaison switches on and off, stays fond.
No excommunication dare Vatican pronounce
as our communication to each act adds its ounce
or pound of fleshy humor, or humour some would spell,
we, wed-divorce consumer, revolve, evolve, no hell
may know who heaven’s bloom a lot owes our sky sent engagement,
although from birth to tomb's doom tomb amazing our arrangement


We groupies play forever – this verse is turning shady -
so goes refrain clever to beard a bearded Lady.

*Star maiden fair for whom I care towards far stars here's soaring,

Her flashing eyes her floating hair, run rings around my drawing,

though all should cry, 'Beware! Beware!' temptation e'er excites me,

while honey-dew and starlight stew forever must delight me.
Chromatics strange the spectrum range epistolary fingers

itch with weird pitch as dream themes twitch stitch image rich which lingers.


I love H² more than I may recount upon A.P.
To H, O dear, without your play how could you take a pee ?
Apart from sulphur springs deep down the trenches of the ocean
you see we every species crown with motion and commotion.
Without our mating chances are your lifespan would be zero,
and if my love deserts me far from zilch lasts your career Oh !
No huns with their nomadic hordes had tented, discontented
No bourbon – wise key crack or kings – le roi soleil invented,
No Roman Legions Cleo pat upon life’s back intented,
No Joan of Arc or Cupid's dart could have been implemented.

Ach so ! Ich muss continuer con brio storia
Another day gold story bold which ends with a stray ‘Gloria !’

 

 

Author notes

robi3_1556_swin1_0001 PWX_JNX

pic crackin' up the universe
http://flickr.com/photos/anua22a/2450798106/
Light Anua
http://flickr.com/photos/anua22a/2441952481/
Translations

et inconNUE toute idée fixe offrant la vie bling bling.
Ainsi la vie commença malgré le Kansas Board

unknown all mindset set would be to offer life bling bling.
Thus life begun despite tales spun by Kansas Board.
(n.b. The Kansas Board of Education has attempted to proscribe Darwinism)


______

Ach so ! Ich muss continuer con brio storia

And so I must continue the tale with brio


_________

beard a bearded Lady ... see T.S. Eliot and Groucho Marx

_________


*And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge - Kubla Khan
_____________

Parody Patrick Barrington, Coleridge, Eliot, Hood, Swinburne et al  first version entitled Evolution 8 January 2007 modified and expanded 12 April 2008



Parody Patrick BARRINGTON 1908_1990



When I was Young and Ignorant



When I was young and ignorant I loved a Miss McDougall,
Our days were spent in happiness, although our means were frugal;
We did not sigh for worldly wealth, for vain and tawdry treasures,
We were a simple country pair with simple country pleasures.
Beneath the village chestnut-tree it was our joy to meet once;
We used to tread the dewy fields with wonder-waking feet once;
We wandered once in leafy lanes and walked in Woodlands shady;
But now she's gone to Birmingham to be a Bearded Lady

I loved her as I loved my life when I was young and tender,
And happily our time was spent although our means were slender.
We used to pass the golden days in countrified pursuits once;
We walked through simple country bogs in simple country boots once.
High hopes of happiness I had, but now my hopes are zero,
Alas ! My love has left me now to carve her own career O;
Not all the hopes of her I had of her are worth a maravedi;
My love has gone to Birmingham to be a Bearded Lady.

My love now dwells in circus halls with clowns and tight-rope dancers,
Where dromedaries play bassoons and sea-lions do the lancers;
She moves amongst trick-bicyclists, buffoons and comic waiters,
With elephants and acrobats and prestidigitators.
No longer daily by my side she wanders through the hay now,
The glamour of the public eye has lured her far away now.
Remorseless Fates, my tender hopes how cruelly betrayed ye !
My love has gone to Birmingham to be a Bearded Lady.

When I was young and ignorant I loved a Miss McDougall;
But that was e'er she heard the call of Fame's imperious bugle.
I thought her kind as she was fair, but I was green and calfish;
My love, though brighter than a star, was colder than a starfish.
High hopes of happiness I had when I was young and tender;
But time and tide have falsified my juvenile agenda.
Farewell, my castle is in the air ! Phantasmal mansions, fade ye !
My love has gone to Birmingham to be a Bearded Lady.



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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • sinfull
    October 22

    Edit | Reply
    As always, I find your effort surpasses expectations. Your rhyme and phrasing skills exhibit well here, and I am forced to applaud your ...humor in the underlying message.
    Very well done, Jonathan.

  • Xqzt
    May 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Boom! Boom! Shake the Room! Once again you've blown me away...away..awayyy..y..y..y......


  • KayJay
    April 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You don't make it easy ... I think you've matched your prewrite to a fresh view on the picture...
    I love your sense of playfullness and humor but I'm going to have to read this again... There's a lot going on within this and I think you've written a wonderful poem... now I just need to prove that to myself

    I'll reserve final judgement for Friday but wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your entry.
    Ken


  • Lily of the Valley
    April 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was a very interesting read, not only for the fascinating content which took me on a journey from creation, through evolution to the present, but also for its educational value in the use of several different languages and stimulating English vocabulary. As a fan of anything scientific I am willing to befriend the dictionary for an odd word here and there to gain the fullest meaning and your author notes certainly helped with the languages. (fair exchange from the universe?) There are several areas which stood out more for me, in particular “When I was oxygenic and you two hydro genes” felt like the general topic had been taken to a personal level, plus I also like the parody. If I’m not mistaken I think stanza six is new addition to this poem which appears to add a touch of romance to it. What I like in this poem is that it seems to evolve through different elements as it moves through the evolution of man. The rhythm and rhyme are your usual excellent standard which is something to be aspired to, and the choice of background is most complimentary to the topic. Excellent all round


  • Night Hope gold member
    April 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "*Star maiden fair for whom I care towards far stars here's soaring,
    Her flashing eyes her floating hair, run rings around my drawing,
    though all should cry, 'Beware ! Beware !' temptation e'er excites me,
    while honey-dew and starlight stew forever must delight me."

    I absolutely adored this penning, dearest Scribe...Such incredible talents you possess, my Friend. Ahhh...but Kansas... When I lived there, the Scopes Monkey Trial had long since been past...in spite of the extended efforts & experience of Frederic March & Spencer Tracy. There are the uneducated & unbelieving among us, everywhere...not limited to the middle of our country...There were many very enlightened people there, as well. For example, my 9th grade English teacher. He played songs by The Beatles, Bob Dylan & Crosby, Stills & Nash to show us the poetry within music, how lyrics can be done so beautifully. This is an intelligent, immaculate piece, dear Scribe. You've never had to force a rhyme in your entire life; they offer themselves willingly to your ministrations. Golden, indeed. Wanda


  • Flowering Star
    August 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It seems like most of your rhymes were forced. A lot of the phrases you used were unfamiliar to me, like "sum mum", "sweeting", "helix he licks?" . . . Maybe I can't appreciate all of the scientific terms because I have not been introduced to them yet? I think adding the foreign language is clever, making your poem more mysterious. Your poem does emit an atmosphere of confusion and chaos.


    • Jonathan ROBIN
      August 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Response to Flowering Star




      May I suggest that if in future you hold contests

      1) at 12 you are flowering in all senses of the term and thus if you are unaware of the different meanings of words of words such as sum, mum, summum, sweeting, helix you look them up before arbitrarily criticizing.

      2) Before talking of "forced rhyme" perhaps it is appropriate to wonder why not only all comments offered applause but also a gold trophy.

      3) If you fail to link into parodies noted then it is difficult to ascertain whether a rhyme is forced. If the text of the poem parodied is not indicated for your own information you might perhaps ask ?

      Best regards

      Jonathan Robin

      http://www.icdri.org/JR


  • Exhaled Cynn
    June 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing piece and congratulations on the gold trophy! It definitely deserved it!

    Cynn


  • Envelope
    June 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    hot damn, you really know how to turn a phrase, the alliteration and rhyme scheme here just blew my mind, infact i hate you for such a clever piece, this was fantastic, and above my expectations, i did have a few qualms, where you delved into french, i lost my pacing, and a few times i found myself losing my place in a few spots, other than that..well done


  • Nanette
    June 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    'As above, so below' - this is quite an interesting read (well worth it) - some pieces might be a bit above my fireplace I love the idea of starting with the beginning...supernova experience. From destruction all things begin, and you evolved to 'gloria'. My interpretation might not be exactly the way you want it to be interpreted, but it sure got my attention.
    Well written!!

1 - 10 of 10