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Orphans


A tree never feels orphaned
Stood as it is giving a shade
Humans bemoan to stand-alone
Feel orphaned more often
As they climb ladder of life
Success and failures isolate them
So also the riches and poverty
Though all are at same level
While bidding farewell on earth
Leaving behind everything
The memories no exception
On later journey of life
The make believe relations extinguish
Making one truly orphan
While equality culminating in the end.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Saphina
    August 8, 2007

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    Moving!

    The beginning of your poem was my farvorit part, lines 1-6, really hit the truth of human nature. A very well done poem, the word choice is fitting and the rhythem appropriate. A wonderful piece!


  • hex
    August 8, 2007

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    have you read the kevin crossley-holland poem 'the guardian tree'? i can send it to you if you like, i think you'd find it interesting. i like the straightforward way you deal with these complex ideas - ESPECIALLY the tautology of 'culminating in the end', which originally struck me as unnecessary until i understood your point about the end - the inevitability of isolation - existing forever. and 'stand-alone' as a compound is beeyootiful: on the lines of nothing being understood without the understanding of its opposite (the words are joined to become something that means separating). oooh so many paradoxes, very exhilerating congrats, hex


  • opaqueangel
    August 7, 2007

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    Very well done! Feeling orphaned, as well as many others, is ddffinatly one of the more human emotions (as far as we know or can relate to anyway). This peice has so much emotion and meaning in it. I really loved it. These words ring true and clear and they really get you thinking about the times you have felt truely alone and exactly why! This is a great peice, keep up the awsome writing!


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    June 16, 2007

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    This is a very thought provoking poem with so much truth in these words. As one climbs the ladder, stepping on others as they go up, they do feel alone. And you have put this point through so well. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Shapla
    June 14, 2007

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    "Humans bemoan to stand-alone
    Feel orphaned more often
    As they climb ladder of life
    Success and failures isolate them
    So also the riches and poverty"

    So true yet so poetic. Liked the way you penned the reality of life.


  • Angels Delight
    June 14, 2007
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    Nicely Done

    My Dear Poet

    Truer words have not been spoken...This really grabbed my attention and yes the path to success often leaves you an orphan...What a great way to look at this piece...I thank you for sharing this with me and for entering my contest...Wishing you the best of luck

    Much Love
    Tessa

1 - 7 of 7