Rest and reflection
have become a thing of the past;
there's no point to anything
if it can't be done fast.
Author notes
The shortness of this poem carries meaning along with the actual message in it. There are so many time- saving devices, and things we feel we need to do that we hardly take time to slow the pace down. Our transportation is faster, you can talk with someone on the other side of the world with the click of a button; the list goes on. In a way it's really neat, but the impersonal aspect is almost becoming disturbing....
A contest entry
- These Times by skaldkraft.
450 points, ended July 11, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thoughts, anyone?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Short but sweet. In a way it's inspiring but also it's not. Sometimes the best thing we could do is take our time, we miss the things we love, because we're always in a rush to get things done. Slow and ready does sometimes win the race
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I like this poem. It flows nicely, the rhyme is clean, there's not much that needs to be said.
It would be possible to tighten up the message and have a more consistent meter to make it fly by even quicker. For example, you could speed it up with dactyllic meter (YA-ta-ta YA-ta-ta):
Rest and reflection
are things of the past;
It hasn't a point
if it isn't done fast.
Or, if you wanted to slow the poem down, you could go with longer words and aliteration to make the words flow slowly and smoothly off the tongue.
Reflection, rest, relaxing are but relics of the past;
does anything have meaning if it isn't over fast?
You have a great message, and the bones of the poem are there. I think a little wordsmithing would let the tone and rhythm enhance the message even further.
-Epistomolus
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Yes I'd have to agree with this one~ Our country is becoming "a need for speed" country. I think you did a wonderful job at pointing that out!
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Sorry something happened and the contest will have to be cancelled
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The content of your piece is accurate. The shortness of the piece emhasizes the fast pace of contemporary life that is your subject. Click--poem read four lines--click, next channel, next thing. Excellent point. The rapid flow of each line is also a propos. Good work.
Thank you for entering the contest.
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No problem.
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I like it, really. Th meaning is so well put in just 4 lines. Life is just getting worse by getting faster, nothing has meaning any more, you enjoy nothing any more. Very good write.
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