There she was sitting so solemn in the corner of her own imagination.
Is she wondering about love,life,hate, or pain?
So quiet,so lost in the sense of the silence that surrounds her tampered mind.
I spoke her name...Alice....and with no response I felt her aura change. I did not know what to say except.......nothing. like a telescope I moved in closer to magnify the expression on her face.
So bold, yet so passive,tapping into her thoughts may be a choice I would regret.
Allowing the moment to capture itself like a well taken photograph...I stood still in my own tranquil state of being.
She did not flinch....however I began to notice a drop of feeling rolling down her cheek that looked much like a rain drop,holding the contamination of whatever thought she was indulging in.
I sat next to her hoping I could bring some sort of comfort,......no response, not sure what to do , I decided to examine my/her, surroundings. What can I make of this environment?
Black walls, bare room,blue ceiling, and no window visible to the human eye.....
With only one thing resting on the red carpet, a small yet interesting box, made out of brass......do I interrupt this moment to satisfy my curiosity....or stay not to leave her side.....?
Sitting still, I turn to her and brush the hair out of her face so I can see her eyes, approving my gesture...she looks at me , If air had a color it was in the vacancy...of her invisible eyes.
I then said Alice.....she responded with..., My name is not Alice...You know my name.Why must you deny it. I will not leave you.....I will stay with you....I said to her,She said you must leave me ...let me go , so you can be free.
Confused I looked at her, like a knife barried in my chest I felt betrayed.
How could you ask me to leave you?...To let you go? You have protected me threw my darkest hour, you taught me to be strong,you were the only one there when I needed someone,.....I would be lost with out you....you are a part of me now.
Alice gazed into my eyes and said......I am not the one who protected you,taught you to be strong,.....You did that remember, you created me ....to protect your self,you fought your own battles.....you just used me as a weapon...a weapon you built .
Now you must let me go....I prevent you from loving,and receiving love, and that is not fair to you. I can not be your weapon of choice anymore you must let your guard down....so you can be free to feel, and to love.
Lost in my bare room of lonliness, with black walls of evil, the blue ceiling for comfort...to remind me that Heaven isn't to far away, and my red carpet from the blood I've spilled over the years.....all I have left is the window to my soul, and the box I stuffed my feelings in......no more Alice to share this room with... what will I do??
I stood up with hesitation, and I looked into the eyes of my own demise, I said, You can leave , you no longer have to be captive in this prison I have contained you within.
with a hint of a smile, suddenly the air changed and I realized in that moment that air does in-fact have color.....it is green....with a hint of Grey, then suddenly I sensed my aura change...as she started slowly evaporating into nothingness.....a light pierced my face threw the wall.....and Alice flew out of the window....of my soul.
My name is not Alice.....!
A contest entry
- Imagery! by Beating.
600 points, ended August 18, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken inside by BareBeast.
300 points, ended September 10, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Open Yourself To Me by Sinfully Yours.
400 points, ended January 21, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A contest for the masses by Danneh.
600 points, ended October 4, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Second Battle of the Poets Contest! by Previn.
540 points, ended September 6, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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This is raw energised writing, dark and very personal.
Interesting turn in the plot and how you reveal who Alice actually is.
This reminds me of something I wrote.
Thanks for entering.
Regards
Previn -
Very deep, adn raw.. It's good to know that your not alice though, as that s a horrible fate that no one deserves.
-Danneh<3(Good luck in the contest) -
A deep and dark poem...but very well written! Great job and good luck!
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so awesomly written. well done. wow...
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thnx
thanks for the comment, I am glad you liked it!!!
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this really reminds me of....--->>>
first i want to say i really like this! i have to say it really reminds me of a poem i wrote a long time ago called "the man" but is written with a hell of a lot more depth and emotion! i wrote "the man" when i was awfully young, in fact it was the first thing i wrote that was published in a contest.( long before home computers even existed i think. 1987ish.) i think i put "the man" here if you care to read it... anyway i like this better than that as it goes further into the soul and truly personalizes emotion and the pain and turmoil we absorb without being able to shake off...
your words do better at symbolizing the damage and darkness that we both encounter and sometimes create without fully realizing at the time. your words go far further in describing the life of those of us that have lived and are living outside of simple "glass houses" that most people live in....
you just draw me in with your words and i fall under the spell of just you. ( i am not sure if i have written anything that makes sense to you but it does to me for whatever its worth!LOL!)
you strike me as being quite real if it means anything to you and i think it is a good thing!
luv ya!
-brandon
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thank you
I was really wanting you to read this,and comment, I am glad you took the time, I will go read your poem "the man" I am interested in what I will find....thnx for your time!!
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where's the picture?
I love the opening about being in the corner of ones own imagination. I like that it started out in a kind of mysterious way. Made me think. Very cool! -
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thnx
I actually applied it to your picture,the women in your pic reminded me of how I felt when I wrote this write....!
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This was hauntingly deep. I absolutely love it. For one thing you are great at metaphors and alliteration, which I really suck at by the way. And it's an in-depth look at the soul of not only yourself but many out there in the world today. You are a wonderful writer my dear. Would you like to join my AP family?
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i love how you put so much into it i love it all i dont think there is nothing bad to say about it i like the end of it the best
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Levels of mental evaluation I don't think I could list... Very good, scary even, almost like sitting in that room with the red carpet while reading it
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thanks
thanks for the comment,I am glad that it gave of a sence of being there....thanks for commenting
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thanx for the comment, I am glad u stopped by to read.
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wow
this almost made me cry..if i weren't so emotionally dry, the tears wouldn't be wavering inward,.... thankyou for sharing this awe inspiring pioece, you are truly a beautiful, and intelligent human being.. i have to say that I admire the way in which you write.. noone has ever moved me in quite such a way....
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wow
Thanks for the awsome comment....I am glad you like it, this write means a lot to me!So I appreciate the comment.I am flatterd
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Very creative
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